[bgm music to read to]
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU37v3jqohe
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSj03Oqzdr
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AiOo44cVs
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcFam8vNtD
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5MijifdVW
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0lRt5L4WK
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcLrmrbyeS
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDW9kvgqS4
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDvs6VEkBj
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEYOvawPo2
But...583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3a6eqCtgB
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsnovqy1s2
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbb2vEnZeqX
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokvRV8aJNn
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHyUDU1355
Is absolutely not pathetic.583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavJnQZEEpS
You're not garbage."583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlEynm7byT
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdZXUhs3x6
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW130DuT08N
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqezCSYzjpK
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2j7kSZc9z
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8v4GvVQpz
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevsb502AXu
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdY3MXCcKhi
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2R9lSUpm6
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEromdlc6Cv
Your son doesn't want to get married.583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtmN6ZNUg0
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0RfQwyFbs
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgefyh20WMq
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPF2gWCMkL
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYZ5WmNxMC
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzZbkbT4ec
I'm scared of failing, so.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ubbAvNnDn
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyOb4IoVpT
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXzSYjKCm7
Sincerely,583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FqC2lnC4F
Your son Charlie.583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaxXEqO9cm
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaI3grhKphv
P.S. Screw you sis /j.583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxcdbBaVWU
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVh2tJPUOB4
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6irUQj4vJh
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWSZ0BEXi6
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSy0KV9Pwz5
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
and then Add to home screen.