[bgm music to read to]
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDug3NKKFBe
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUAZwjzAA5
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlNrjK2PkP
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUImJyhXQM
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXWfoSp5on
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iQjdZ0JxN
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLi4c22YE5
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ADLYqKMdF
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GlARdv10o
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78ne8m9vIa
But...586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KcsPClwQ8
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJNgLqwdbF
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHT08BnyOeZ
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ASKelIDSZ
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LELUeGBNL
Is absolutely not pathetic.586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUpQySDFJ9
You're not garbage."586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZu66sRJwc
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRiqQmUYDI
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9kdXV4NWQ
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9fxyTINjg
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKXe3fR0FC
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3sz1ytnqR
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGyEkfyMfa
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUN3MfnjiI5
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweXzukEKd2
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEbyeEhTIT
Your son doesn't want to get married.586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF25q9IhVmi
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnY2EySrYy
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHF0FUtHdj
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8q9fL53uV
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiXWja6uoN
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rvzmdvPb8
I'm scared of failing, so.
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mgviOpY9Q
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAIoNbavbo
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMkz9c3qQQ
Sincerely,586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAJMgnv5mM
Your son Charlie.586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIUr6D6JMK
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1GTQhGqEN
P.S. Screw you sis /j.586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8iuuT8LMe
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRj0DMzUf7
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07M69iYY1W
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3upB7pa8yl
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTn9hIXeEon
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
and then Add to home screen.