[bgm music to read to]
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruKtbi4L1k
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6mWhkZGFd
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4y5HzWXHZ
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipFnGnxD5E
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnZK6P1FNn
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNSejOdckX
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKjvkjWnjU
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqd0k3HMUl
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWR0UahBSXy
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5lK2mV79V
But...584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7rm7mC4Dt
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5M3jbbs1y
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmcDJ4mFMq
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4MkH4AsbG
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAX1ok0FeY
Is absolutely not pathetic.584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAU1262lDn
You're not garbage."584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GLRrDSU2y
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55HLksWhZJ
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViIPFw3Gaw
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WIsE9Vhkr
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡce65PEPE34
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKyJNFtBdi
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7iN7zWq09
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWWqWhVfO3
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqni5lnWOO
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRsFqiQClJ
Your son doesn't want to get married.584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOw2gR49BS7
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAZbK0qsOv
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0Y7xJwLCv
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIuEQ561rF
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPqhSsxMmz
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sNWlGA3TD
I'm scared of failing, so.
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu75b9VH1L5
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mLmr9N4LB
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1q3kpxX2M
Sincerely,584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjvjE7MiIe
Your son Charlie.584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXy9FgBr5q
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoglpGVSYwS
P.S. Screw you sis /j.584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYnLmyqlgL
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo96l8WEeo9
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuyFzgeDSo
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyuTIuC3de
584Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNY2BI1Hsx
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
and then Add to home screen.