[Darkness.]
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYFHXxjnK4
[Brightness. White hospital light. A generic student accommodation. ROXIE sits at the generic table in the corner of a generic kitchen. She is listless.]460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6FP8g9kjW
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsOZ77sxGs
ROXIE:460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJSkrQ2U43
I am new here. Hallo. My name is Roxie. I only came out a few months ago so maybe I should also say that my name before was Rian. My dad is a counsellor and he says that I should tell people what my old name was so that they can know me better.
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHZ3V4RaBn
But I bet that's bullshit. Anyway. Here I am. Here is me. There are three stools in this kitchen for the three of us who will live in this apartment here. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MEXHdFeuV
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrVfeGlgm1
But none others have yet arrived so, yeah, just, me. But that's okay. I can be my own best entertainer. The girlie I met in the train told me that if my family don't support me, then I must leave them and the friends I make here will become my new family. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDOaZWIFRV
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdUHjCVm2N
That's true enough I suppose. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKrg5NqSAj
[ROXIE stands up from the table and walks over to the kitchen window and stares out of it to the other blank, generic accommodations across the road. She is, again, listless to the most extreme.]
ROXIE:
This isn't who I thought I would turn out to be...
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1R0I9mMLB
But who do I talk to? Why speak aloud?460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHDnZEsoCd
Pause.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaDkYPeqzk
But of course I know why. I do. I do. I do. The longer that the echo between speech lasts the more I am forced to sit and listen. So I must get it all out. Every bit of it, however ugly. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFu87y4cKdk
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoA4f6YRuLL
But it's still hard, you know? Just because my dad's a psychotherapist and I understand what I am to do, it doesn't make it any easier. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsloO2yvPt
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy12ndnkiTG
But I will try. Because, frankly, what else is there to do?460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDM3s7go2p
Pause.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95SDOqXIEN
I started watching porn videos when I was twelve years old. Was it then or when I don't know that I became an addict. When did it switch from a once to a constant. It was an echo-chamber of madness and dark intentions. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2I4TJ8KHW
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKH9UcJUKO
Sometimes I wonder if my own mental state now is a result of that. I wonder if I'm all wrong. I wonder if this is normal, to be doubting your own existence. I wonder if this is all just an after effect of my own upbringing. I wonder a lot of things.
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94FOMh96rq
Because, perhaps, yeah, perhaps I am real. And I am me. And perhaps I can trust my head and perhaps I can safely say, Yes. I am me. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aMTDpMttV
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbkRjslLYA
But I can't just make all of those other thoughts go away at once. How could I? I'm not a superhero...460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2RHUfVUBa
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡearFC2RShr
Or would it be a super-heroine? 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNlIVN5kz2
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FDwiIa52q
I'm kind of comfortable with all the really awful feminine stereotypes. Dumb blondes, bimbos, damsels and dames. It doesn't really bother me. If anything, it makes me feel better that I might not over act. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HKeWo4lUU
Pause.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzHUCbZkJT
"Act" It isn't acting as a woman. I am a woman and I am me and I know I must be. What I meant was when I am in public and trying to pass as cis. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhklYmH807q
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7t0wCDciL
[During this pause, ROXIE turns away from the window and makes her way over to the fridge. It is dull and generic. She goes to open it, stops herself, and then opens it.]460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oZuhNr74P
ROXIE:
But the night will soon be over, thank God. And I will soon lose consciousness. I will soon lose all ability to think and overthink about all my shortcomings and long stretches alone. I look forward to sleep. I look forward to when everything is set in stone, when it's all black and white, when I'm no longer an addict, when I don't get hungover and have a license and can stay within my waist goals and everything is perfect. But until then. I must sleep.
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45hzVKeL7H
[During the pause, ROXIE gradually sinks down onto floor and curls into a ball.]460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqseuKYhi7
Pause. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4josx2Psa
[Darkness.]460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjlidcJnGc
and then Add to home screen.