[1] The "Optimization Notice" Arrived Simultaneously with the Holy Sword's Glow
"—Based on performance evaluations, you have been added to the talent optimization list."
The words "Termination Notice" on Hoshino Akira's document were burning gold with some divine power. The blinds behind her swayed without wind, casting crucifix-shaped shadows sharp enough to cut.
"Per Employee Handbook Article 666," her fingers traced the parchment-like paper making my stomach churn, "I'm authorized to reclaim company property... including your illegally obtained dark magic."
The office plunged into silence, broken only by the familiar's shriek from the air vent: "Your Majesty! Her name badge reads 'Hero License' in Ancient Demon Tongue!"
Then Hoshino's pen elongated into a silver rapier, its hilt engraved with "Holy Sword HR Co., Ltd."
[2] The Demon King's Trump Card Against Layoffs? Social Insurance
As sword wind shattered the time-clock, I lunged for my desk drawer: "Wait! I have Employee Pension Insurance!"
"...What?" The holy sword froze mid-swing.
"Article 13 of the Reincarnated Labor Protection Act!" I flung my insurance card forward, its hellfire watermark glowing under holy light. "Holy attacks on dark beings count as workplace injuries! Want to headline the Otherworld Labor Standards Bureau's report?"
Hoshino's blade trembled imperceptibly—just like when she discovered I'd secretly insured her holy sword 300 years ago.
"...Cheeky." She removed her glasses, pupils swirling with liquid gold. "But you seem to have forgotten—"
Swish!
Her sword sliced my tie, revealing the Demon King's sigil beneath my collarbone—an old scar from her last holy stab.
"This is personal now, Your Majesty."
[3] When Excel Becomes a Magic Circle
"Familiar! Plan B!" I kicked over the coffee maker, the splashing liquid midair forming a dark contract—the side business it had secretly printed on company equipment last week.
"By authority of Hell's Seventh Branch Co., Ltd.!" The familiar emerged waving a barcode scanner. "You're now a 'Dark Merchants Guild' VIP! Holy Sword Accident Insurance at 30% off—"
Hoshino's blade shredded the pamphlets, only for the paper shredder to erupt with more documents:
Demon Castle Eminent Domain Compensation Claim
Emotional Distress Charges (300 Recorded Acts of Hero Violence)
Resignation from Overwork Deity Worship
"All this...?" In her moment of shock, I crushed the last brick of my demon castle (kept as a stress toy) in my sleeve. Black mist solidified into a miniature throne blocking her strike.
"Rule one of modern corporate warfare—" I grinned from my throne wreckage. "Always keep a backup plan."
[4] The Goddess System's True Nature
Suddenly, a mechanized female voice echoed through the building:24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhhGNqR2io
"Unregistered magical combat detected. Activating 'Employee Conflict Purification Protocol.'"
Ceiling panels split open, unleashing glowing chains shaped like overtime request forms. Hoshino collapsed as identical contract sigils glowed on her neck.
"I see." I stared at her shackled sword. "You're just... another employee trapped in the system?"
Struggling to lift her head, her golden eyes flashed with familiar defiance: "Run... This company is the Goddess's 'faith harvester'...!"
ns3.144.82.191da2
and then Add to home screen.