I'd been on edge since Fajr.
When the email came in last night, I thought it was a mistake. A glitch in the scheduling system. An error someone in HR would correct by morning.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKKPSjCb18
But then the revised weekly schedule hit my inbox a few minutes later. Every meeting with Imran—gone.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMoFuOJaWr
Replaced with joint sessions, team strategy reviews, and onboarding syncs... all with Lamija Begović.
I stared at my calendar for a full five minutes, just waiting for it to shift back.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNSLYdT2CF
It didn't.
I prayed Fajr at the masjid near my apartment, the one with peeling blue paint and a heater that hummed too loudly.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BjOVyrTm9
I needed the quiet. I needed the grounding.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIfEpdEcgA
I tried to focus during sujood, whispered du'a between breaths.
Ya Allah... make me enough.
On the drive to the office, I didn't play Qur'an like usual.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHokPKtrmm
Just silence.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqruWjBmzEe
Sarajevo was still half-asleep, the city bathed in that cold, pre-sunlight stillness.
Zehira texted me just before I pulled into the lot:
Zehira: Good luck, ljubavi. You'll be brilliant.
It almost made me smile.
Even her mother knew what a difficult woman she'd raised.
I should've gone upstairs.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDZQeXerBx
Should've taken the elevator straight to the top floor and stepped into whatever version of hell this week would be.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsLuvPxPXM
But instead, I turned left.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCVP98JZcb
Down to the garage level.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVq8TGkNK6
To the drivers' lounge.
The room was empty, but warm.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5PqnzZKRG
It smelled like diesel and stale coffee and those cheap Bosnian cigarettes my father used to chain-smoke.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsXGxCXosO
I closed the door gently behind me and leaned against it.
This place had barely changed.
Same cracked leather couches.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwIHfajRyS
Same humming vending machine.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VHd0i3avi
Same half-faded poster about snow chain protocols.
I walked over to the corner where the lockers used to be.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKENI21i2p
My father's would've been three from the end.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Lr0Vjn28m
He used to let me sit in his truck while he checked in with dispatch.
That's where I first saw her.
Lamija was fourteen.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnRn90CMJ0
Bright scarf knotted under her chin.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcKV3SBI25
Boots too clean for the garage.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHiosywPac
She walked in with a box of new company merch to hand out to the drivers—hats, hoodies, branded mugs.
I was gone the moment I saw her.
She handed a jacket to my father.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPvyfzV7EI
Then looked at me.
"You're Ibrahim's boy?" she asked.
I nodded, ears burning.
The cap she put on my head was comically big.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7aIYHHg6a
I could barely see past the brim.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdawPOzPWrd
She grinned anyway.
"Looks good on you."
My father chuckled as she walked away.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EeGOgZ9az
"Little boss got good taste," he said, ruffling my hair.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8RsJLT1w7
"Careful, Ayub. That one's trouble."
I still have that cap.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwdOnoIRJZ
Buried in a box in the back of my closet.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyumqNwNS2
Never wore it again, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.
My father died a few months later.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNzUl3vMOk
Rain-slick road. A sharp turn just past Visoko.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNkvbSGrw1
They found the truck wrapped around a concrete barrier.
I still remember the knock on the door.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiUCxnGMdM
The way my mother cried without sound.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGriH37XBrg
The way she remarried four months later like my father was a chapter she could close and shelve.
Her new husband didn't want baggage.
I was the baggage.
She left me with my uncle, a man who only tolerated me because he shared a last name with my father. The house was cold even when the heaters were on. I ate alone. Slept with the door locked. Did laundry by hand because no one thought to show me the machine.
Zehira Begović started asking around.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXPHyyUI7V
In the masjids.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOAhuLaALU
At the community center.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR29vyam7Bd
Where is Ibrahim's son? Who has him?
She showed up at my uncle's door like a storm in a silk hijab.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmSS5W1voP
I still remember the way she pushed past him without waiting for permission.
"Get your things, Ayub. You're coming with me."
And just like that, I did.
I was sixteen when I moved into the Begović house.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA24YUuYBqY
I stayed for two years.
Imran took me in like a brother.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPIwYmPKNO
But what their parents gave me—that was something else entirely.
They gave me status.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCu06WqMMV
Access.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeP4T2Ke7RT
An education I never dreamed of affording.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9iZArZGtw
Tutors. Travel.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lICaODXZX
A desk in the corner of the estate library stocked with everything I needed.
They treated me like a son—not just with warmth, but with investment.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb29yZ0cMdH
The kind you pour into a future you believe in.
Even now, they're the closest thing I have to parents.
And Lamija...
Lamija was fire and gravity and sharpness in human form.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmHB4BdKnl
I learned quickly to keep my distance.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAuNpk0mci
To look, but not linger.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBW1noZCN8T
To admire quietly and never, ever want too much.
I sat down on the old couch near the window.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4mf086Tes
Closed my eyes.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7ReJMdbdI
Spoke softly into the space like I used to do when I was a boy sitting in the truck.
"Babo... they want me to work under her now."
I swallowed.
"She's not that little girl anymore. She runs an entire division.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38TxgvTmks
And I'm terrified — not of the work, but of falling short of the man they believe I am.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WY1JLLebf
The one she expects."
The silence pressed against my chest.
"I miss you."
I sat there a little longer, until my throat stopped burning.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu64jtfwKD
Then I pulled my shoulders back and headed for the elevator.
The executive floor was mostly dark when I arrived.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4ctOUu00f
No chatter. No phones ringing.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fqiwcGERW
Just the soft hum of the lights and the faint click of my own shoes.
Everyone knew Imran started early.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJdicaFzMO
Too early.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP23hSRnaon
He was probably already in his office, sipping bitter coffee and reviewing shipping reports.
I wasn't ready to face him yet.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDEw33kO0E
Not until I figured out how to say it without sounding like a coward.
My new desk was in the operations wing—closer to Lamija's glass-encased office.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJ6lUdMb98
Front row seats to the storm.
I dropped my bag onto the desk and pulled out my tablet.
The welcome packet was already open—color-coded folders, division performance graphs, open contracts.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGjQqPYkAV
She was nothing if not thorough.
There was a note at the bottom of one file:
Review before the 10am sync. Come prepared. –L.B.
Short. Sharp. Efficient.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dyk6aRWwQ
Pure Lamija.
I opened the file.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDa8pUnOK9a
My stomach knotted.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoph2QdnkCl
Not because I couldn't do it—but because I'd spent years trying to keep my distance.
And now I was being asked to stand beside her, hold my own, and pretend I wasn't still the boy who remembered the way she said,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlSj6pa1Xn
"Looks good on you."
I stared at the screen until the lines blurred.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPylXOsRjLl
Then I stood. Slowly. Quietly.
And turned down the hall toward Imran's office.
I didn't knock.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvSoPbKSVz
Not yet.
I just stood outside the door—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCd9D8nUOe
trying to figure out how to ask the one question I already knew he wouldn't want to answer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Notes from Ash&Olive:
So. We met Ayub.
He prays, he panics, he trauma-bonds with diesel fumes.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwFJpL0XWa
Very on brand for someone who's about to work under a woman who could shatter him with a sentence and then move on with her day.
Is he emotionally prepared for this transition?15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98IchGI7jP
No.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhThafSKexR
Did he try to spiritually process it before opening an Excel sheet?15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTgc56IGkN
Absolutely.
He's doing his best.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90ulqUte8G
Unfortunately, his best is now being measured against Lamija Begović at 10am sharp.
Pray for him. Again.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9sncCAWix
Or better yet—leave a comment telling me who you think is going to break first.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7KUlobCyy
(It's fine. I already know. I just want to see where your loyalties lie.)
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSaZDs4y9n
and then Add to home screen.