The Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom buzzed with restless energy long before Professor Lockhart arrived. Sunlight streamed through the tall windows, illuminating floating dust motes that drifted lazily through the air. Students filled the room with conversations ranging from Quidditch tryouts to Chamber of Secrets rumors, though a surprising number of discussions centered on whatever embarrassing thing Lockhart had done recently. The professor had somehow become both a teacher and a source of daily entertainment. Mira sat beside Draco near the middle of the classroom while Pip lounged comfortably in her lap. The Niffler had insisted on accompanying her today and was currently nibbling on a small biscuit. Across the room, Theo and Blaise were discussing whether Lockhart's parrot voice incident had been funnier than his dancing illusion. Daphne had wisely decided both incidents were equally embarrassing. The atmosphere was relaxed enough that several students almost forgot they were about to attend a Lockhart lesson.
Then the classroom doors burst open.
Gilderoy Lockhart strode into the room with all the confidence of a man entering a grand stage rather than a classroom.
His robes billowed dramatically.
His smile gleamed.
His hair looked suspiciously more polished than usual.
Several students immediately exchanged knowing looks.
Lockhart marched to the front of the room and spread his arms, "Good afternoon, my eager students!"
A few students mumbled greetings.
Most simply waited.
Experience had taught them that Lockhart usually provided his own entertainment.
The professor seemed completely unaware of this.
Today, however, he looked particularly pleased with himself.
That alone made Mira suspicious.
Lockhart began pacing before the class.
"Today," he announced grandly, "we shall discuss magical creatures."
Several students looked interested.
Others looked cautious.
Lockhart's lessons often began with one topic and somehow ended somewhere entirely different.
Sure enough, within moments he was already talking about himself.
"As many of you know, I have encountered countless magical creatures throughout my adventures."
Draco immediately sighed.
Theo rolled his eyes.
Blaise muttered something about starting a tally.
Meanwhile, Lockhart continued, "I have outsmarted vampires."
A dramatic pause.
"Defeated werewolves."
Another pause.
"Escaped hostile trolls."
The students remained unimpressed.
Lockhart pressed onward anyway.
"And, naturally, I can outwit even the cleverest Niffler."
That statement immediately caught several students' attention.
Mira glanced down at Pip.
Pip glanced up at her.
The Niffler's dark eyes sparkled.
The little creature clearly understood one important detail.
Someone had just challenged his professional reputation.
Lockhart continued speaking.
"A Niffler may be attracted to shiny objects."
He smiled knowingly.
"But true intelligence always prevails."
Pip's ears twitched.
Mira felt the Niffler sit up straighter.
The biscuit was forgotten.
A dangerous sign.
Very dangerous.
Draco noticed immediately, "Oh no."
Theo frowned, "What?"
Draco pointed toward Pip, "Pip heard him."
Several students nearby followed his gaze.
Realization spread quickly.
Blaise looked delighted.
Daphne looked concerned.
Theo looked confused, "Pip's a Niffler."
"Exactly."
Theo blinked.
Then understanding dawned.
"Oh."
At the front of the room, Lockhart was still talking.
Unfortunately for him, Pip had already identified something far more interesting.
The professor's belt.
It gleamed beneath the sunlight.
Polished silver buckles.
Decorative gold accents.
Tiny, enchanted gemstones.
To a Niffler, it was essentially a treasure chest wrapped around a human waist.
Pip stared.
The belt sparkled.
Pip continued staring.
The belt sparkled again.
Mira immediately recognized the look on her familiar's face.
It was the same expression he wore before stealing particularly valuable objects from anyone who insulted the Silverthorne family members.
She considered intervening.
Briefly.
Then decided against it.
After all, Lockhart had claimed he could outwit any Niffler.
Surely this was an educational opportunity.
The lesson continued.
Lockhart launched into an increasingly dramatic story about rescuing villagers from a pack of enchanted ferrets.
Nobody believed a word of it.
Not even the first-years.
Yet the professor remained blissfully unaware.
Meanwhile, Pip slowly slipped from Mira's lap.
The movement was so subtle that only Draco noticed.
Draco immediately buried his face in one hand, "Oh, this is going to be magnificent."
Pip disappeared beneath the desks.
Several students tracked his progress.
The Niffler moved like a tiny furry shadow.
Silent.
Stealthy.
Focused.
His target never noticed a thing.
Lockhart paced dramatically across the room.
"One must understand the psychology of magical creatures."
Pip reached the front row.
Lockhart gestured grandly.
"They respect confidence."
Pip slipped between two desks.
"They recognize superior intellect."
Pip reached the professor's desk.
"And naturally, they know when they have been outmatched."
Pip climbed onto the desk.
Several students immediately stopped taking notes.
Nobody wanted to miss what happened next.
Lockhart continued speaking.
Completely oblivious.
Pip examined the belt carefully.
A professional evaluating a masterpiece.
Then he reached out.
Tiny paws moved with remarkable precision.
The buckle clicked.
Once.
Twice.
Then—
Snap.
The belt came free.
Pip immediately vanished beneath the desk.
For approximately three seconds, nothing happened.
Then gravity intervened.
Lockhart took another dramatic step.
His trousers immediately dropped to his ankles.
The classroom froze.
Complete silence.
Absolute silence.
Lockhart blinked.
Several students blinked.
The professor looked down.
His expression slowly transformed from confusion to horror.
Then the room exploded.
Laughter erupted from every direction.
Students doubled over.
Theo nearly fell out of his chair.
Blaise actually did fall out of his chair.
Daphne buried her face in her hands.
Draco laughed so hard he couldn't breathe.
Even Hermione looked dangerously close to laughing.
Ron slammed both hands onto his desk.
Harry had to grab the edge of his chair for support.
Lockhart stood frozen.
Brightly patterned heart-covered boxers peeked above his socks.
Several students immediately noticed.
The laughter intensified.
Much intensified.
Someone in the back shouted, "The boxer rumor was true!"
Lockhart looked ready to faint, "P-Professor!"
He desperately tried pulling his trousers up.
Unfortunately, this proved difficult while simultaneously attempting to preserve his dignity.
A losing battle.
Especially when Pip emerged triumphantly from beneath a desk holding the stolen belt.
The Niffler proudly waved it above his head.
The classroom erupted again.
Lockhart stared.
Pip stared back.
The belt sparkled.
Pip hugged it protectively.
For a brief moment, professor and Niffler simply regarded one another.
Then Pip chirped happily.
As if declaring victory.
Theo wiped tears from his eyes, "I think the Niffler won."
"No," Blaise struggled to speak through laughter, "He absolutely won."
At last, Mira stood and approached Pip. The Niffler surrendered the belt only after receiving several treats and a great deal of praise. Lockhart quickly reclaimed it and fastened it back into place while attempting to pretend none of this had happened. Unfortunately, that became impossible the moment students began imitating his earlier speech. Throughout the remainder of the lesson, every mention of intelligence, confidence, or superior strategy triggered renewed laughter. By the time the bell finally rang, Lockhart looked exhausted. Pip, meanwhile, returned to Mira's shoulder looking immensely pleased with himself. As students filed from the classroom, Theo could still be heard laughing in the corridor. And somewhere behind them, Gilderoy Lockhart was likely reconsidering his decision to publicly challenge a Niffler's professional expertise.
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and then Add to home screen.