The following morning dawned crisp and bright over Hogwarts, but within the Slytherin common room, a very different kind of storm was brewing. Sunlight filtered through the lake-facing windows, casting shifting emerald patterns across the stone walls. Students prepared for breakfast, discussing Quidditch scores, Chamber rumors, and the latest gossip circulating through the castle. At a table near the fireplace, however, Mira Silverthorne sat with Draco Malfoy and the Weasley twins. The four of them were huddled suspiciously close together, speaking in voices low enough to avoid attracting attention. Anyone watching carefully would have immediately recognized the expressions on their faces. These were not the expressions of innocent students. These were the expressions of people planning something terrible. Or, more accurately, something terribly funny.
Draco looked between Mira and the twins with growing anticipation. "Remind me again what this one does?" he whispered.
Across from him, Fred grinned in a way that suggested adult supervision had already failed somewhere in the planning process.
George leaned forward and lowered his voice even further. "Simple. The enchantment alters speech patterns." He paused dramatically. "Everything Lockhart says comes out as opera."
Draco blinked. Then blinked again. Finally, a slow grin spread across his face. "Everything?"
Fred nodded solemnly. "Everything."
Mira hid a smile behind her teacup. "Good."
The Great Hall was already bustling when they arrived. Hundreds of students filled the four house tables. Plates overflowed with eggs, toast, porridge, and sausages. Owls occasionally swooped overhead carrying mail. The enchanted ceiling displayed a clear autumn sky streaked with soft morning clouds. Professors occupied their usual seats at the staff table. Dumbledore chatted pleasantly with Flitwick. McGonagall read correspondence while sipping tea. Snape looked as though he was mentally calculating how many students he could legally throw out a window. And sitting near the center of the table was Gilderoy Lockhart. The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor appeared completely oblivious to the danger surrounding him. He smiled broadly at anyone who glanced his way and occasionally waved to students. Several students immediately looked away.
Mira watched carefully as Fred and George executed the operation. Years of prank experience had clearly refined their techniques. Neither twin moved suspiciously. Neither drew attention. The enchantment had already been placed upon a goblet waiting at Lockhart's seat long before breakfast began. The professor unknowingly lifted it while enthusiastically discussing something with Professor Sprout. He drank deeply. Once. Twice. Three times. Then he set the goblet down. Nothing happened. At least not immediately. Around the hall, a few students exchanged hopeful glances. Draco nearly vibrated with anticipation.
Then Dumbledore stood.
The Headmaster smiled warmly at the assembled students. "Before we begin today's announcements—"
Lockhart immediately rose to his feet.
What emerged from his mouth was not speech.
It was singing.
Loud singing.
Operatic singing.
"AHHHHHH, YEEESSSSS, HEEEAAAADMASTERRRRR!"
The entire Great Hall froze.
Lockhart froze.
Dumbledore froze.
A spoon clattered onto the floor somewhere near Ravenclaw.
Lockhart stared.
His eyes widened.
Then he tried again.
"IIIIII WAAAAAS HOOOOPIIIINGGGGG!"
His voice soared upward into an impossibly dramatic tenor performance.
The sound echoed off the enchanted ceiling.
Students stared.
Some looked confused.
Others looked horrified.
Most looked delighted.
Draco immediately buried his face in his arms.
Not to hide embarrassment.
To hide laughter.
Lockhart looked around desperately.
His face had turned bright red.
Surely he could explain this.
Surely.
"MYYYYY VOOOOOIIIICE APPEEEEEARS!"
The opera became even louder.
A group of Hufflepuffs began shaking with silent laughter.
Several Ravenclaws appeared fascinated from an academic perspective.
The Weasley twins looked seconds away from collapsing.
Even Mira struggled to maintain composure.
Lockhart cleared his throat.
Then attempted a simple sentence but the result was catastrophic.
"GOOOOOOOOOD MOOOOOOORNINGGGGGGGGG!"
The final note lasted nearly ten seconds.
Several nearby candles flickered.
A portrait somewhere in the castle could probably hear him.
Students finally broke.
The Great Hall erupted.
Laughter exploded from every table.
Some students doubled over.
Others openly cried from laughing too hard.
Even older students who normally maintained dignified composure lost the battle completely.
Lockhart looked as though he wanted the floor to swallow him.
Professor McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose.
Flitwick had stopped pretending to be composed.
The Charms professor's shoulders shook visibly.
Professor Sprout looked ready to burst into tears from suppressed laughter.
Dumbledore's beard twitched suspiciously.
Only Snape remained completely expressionless.
Or at least mostly expressionless.
Those watching very carefully might have noticed the faintest hint of satisfaction in his dark eyes.
Lockhart turned desperately toward the Potions Master.
"PROFESSOR SNAAAAAPE, PERHAAAAAPS—"
The operatic performance somehow intensified.
The note rose dramatically.
Then higher.
Then even higher.
Students applauded.
Actually applauded.
A few Gryffindors even cheered.
Lockhart looked moments away from fainting.
Dumbledore finally raised a hand.
The hall gradually quieted.
Though occasional giggles continued.
The Headmaster regarded Lockhart thoughtfully.
Then smiled.
"Remarkable projection."
The hall exploded again.
Lockhart made a strangled noise.
Unfortunately, even that emerged as opera.
"Aaaaaaahhhhh!"
It sounded like the tragic death scene of an extremely dramatic wizarding play.
The laughter became even worse.
Nearby, Draco had tears in his eyes.
Fred was no longer capable of breathing properly.
George leaned against the table for support.
Mira calmly buttered a piece of toast while silently congratulating herself on another successful operation.
Eventually Madam Pomfrey was summoned to investigate the situation. After several embarrassing attempts to explain the problem through operatic song, Lockhart was escorted toward the Hospital Wing. The students watched him leave while singing every complaint, every protest, and every denial in perfect operatic style. His voice echoed through the Great Hall long after he disappeared from view. The moment the doors closed behind him, the entire room erupted into laughter once more. Conversations immediately resumed with renewed enthusiasm. Students began reenacting the performance for their friends. By lunchtime, the story had spread throughout Hogwarts. By dinner, it would reach Hogsmeade. And by the end of the week, many students would agree on one thing. Gilderoy Lockhart had finally found his true calling. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't Defense Against the Dark Arts. It was opera.
The excitement surrounding Professor Lockhart's unexpected operatic performance remained one of the most discussed topics in Hogwarts. Even hours later, students could occasionally be heard humming dramatic notes whenever Lockhart passed through a corridor. By the time Defense Against the Dark Arts began that afternoon, anticipation filled the classroom. The second-years filed into the room in unusually high spirits. Sunlight streamed through the tall windows, illuminating shelves crowded with books, cages, and various magical curiosities that Lockhart had arranged for maximum dramatic effect. Several framed photographs of the professor smiled and waved from the walls. A portrait of Lockhart signing one of his books winked at passing students. Another blew kisses to an imaginary audience. The room felt less like a classroom and more like a shrine dedicated to Gilderoy Lockhart.
Mira and Draco entered together.
The moment they crossed the doorway, they exchanged a glance.
Neither needed to speak.
The plan had already been prepared.
Hours earlier.
Carefully.
Precisely.
And most importantly—
Without being caught.
Draco settled into his seat beside Mira.
His expression remained perfectly innocent.
Which was exactly what made it suspicious.
Mira opened her notebook.
Around them, students chatted quietly.
Nobody noticed the tiny flicker of amusement hidden behind her calm expression.
At the front of the room sat Lockhart's desk.
An ordinary-looking desk.
At least for now.
The classroom door burst open.
Lockhart swept into the room dramatically.
His golden robes practically shimmered beneath the sunlight.
A relieved smile stretched across his face, "My dear students!"
Several students sighed dramatically.
A few even looked disappointed.
Lockhart blinked, "Why do you all look disappointed?"
No one answered.
Because nobody wanted to explain that they preferred him as an opera singer.
Lockhart cleared his throat, "My voice has been fully restored."
More disappointment.
Theo actually muttered, "That's unfortunate."
Daphne elbowed him.
Blaise nearly laughed.
Lockhart either didn't hear or wisely chose to ignore the comment.
Instead, he approached his desk.
Everything appeared perfectly normal.
At first.
The lesson began.
Lockhart launched into one of his usual stories.
Something involving vampires.
A haunted castle.
Three hundred terrified villagers.
And naturally—
Himself.
Students listened with varying degrees of skepticism.
Hermione appeared fascinated.
Ron looked bored.
Harry seemed exhausted already.
Mira focused on her notes.
Or at least pretended to.
Because she was actually waiting.
Patiently.
Very patiently.
The trap required the right moment.
And eventually—
It arrived.
Lockhart reached for a drawer.
The professor opened the top drawer.
Inside sat a stack of parchment.
He removed a single sheet.
Then casually pushed the drawer closed.
Click.
Immediately—
A different drawer slid open.
Students glanced toward the desk.
Lockhart frowned.
He reached over.
Closed it.
Click.
Another drawer opened.
The class grew quieter.
Lockhart blinked.
Then closed that one.
Click.
A third drawer opened.
The room became silent.
Draco lowered his head.
Very quickly.
To hide his grin.
Lockhart stared at the desk.
The desk stared back.
Or at least seemed to.
He reached forward again.
Closed the newest drawer.
Click.
Another opened.
Then another.
Then another.
The desk suddenly resembled a confused magical accordion.
Students exchanged looks.
Several were already struggling not to laugh.
Lockhart forced a smile, "Ahem." He laughed nervously, "Interesting."
The desk responded by opening another drawer.
The smile disappeared.
Now determined to regain control, Lockhart grabbed two drawers simultaneously.
He slammed both shut.
Click.
Click.
Two more immediately sprang open.
The classroom erupted.
Laughter exploded throughout the room.
Even Hermione looked amused.
Lockhart froze.
Then tried again.
Three drawers.
Three hands would've been useful.
Unfortunately, he only possessed two.
The desk apparently knew this.
The moment two drawers closed—
Two others opened.
It was as though the furniture itself had declared war.
Then things became worse.
Much worse.
One drawer burst open violently.
A cloud of sparkling glitter exploded into the air.
Golden dust showered the room.
Students squealed.
Several ducked.
Lockhart staggered backward.
The glitter settled all over his robes.
His hair.
His face.
Everything sparkled.
Absolutely everything.
Theo buried his face in his arms.
His shoulders shook violently.
Daphne was no longer even pretending to remain composed.
Before Lockhart could recover, another drawer opened.
A massive, feathered boa erupted outward.
Bright pink.
Extremely fluffy.
Very alive.
The enchanted accessory wrapped itself around Lockhart's shoulders.
Then around his neck.
Then around his arms.
It appeared absolutely delighted.
Lockhart struggled.
The boa hugged tighter.
Students howled with laughter.
The professor spun in circles attempting to free himself.
The boa interpreted this as a game.
And hugged him even more enthusiastically.
Another drawer opened.
This time enchanted quills shot into the air.
Dozens of them.
They swarmed around Lockhart like a flock of birds.
Ink splattered everywhere.
One quill attempted to autograph his forehead.
Another signed his sleeve.
A third signed the boa.
Several students nearly fell from their chairs laughing.
Lockhart waved frantically.
The quills interpreted the movement as encouragement.
More signatures appeared.
Everywhere.
Then came the mirror.
A small ornate mirror floated from another drawer.
It hovered directly in front of Lockhart.
The reflection smiled.
Then spoke, "Oh my," The mirror sighed dreamily, "What magnificent hair."
Students immediately lost control.
The mirror continued, "Such dazzling eyes."
Lockhart stared.
Horrified.
The mirror floated closer, "You truly are the most handsome wizard I've ever reflected."
The classroom dissolved into chaos.
Even Harry laughed.
Ron nearly choked.
The Weasley twins would undoubtedly hear about this before dinner.
Lockhart finally managed to grab the mirror.
Unfortunately, this caused another drawer to open.
A shower of enchanted paper hearts burst into the air.
They fluttered around his head.
Several carried messages.
"Gilderoy, you're wonderful!"
"Your smile brightens my day!"
"Marry me!"
The mirror sighed dramatically, "I agree with all of these."
The students were now openly crying with laughter.
Even Neville couldn't stop smiling.
Lockhart looked moments away from resignation.
At the back of the room, Snape appeared in the doorway.
Nobody knew how long he had been standing there.
The Potions Master observed the chaos silently.
Glitter-covered Lockhart.
The enchanted boa.
Floating quills.
Complimenting mirror.
Flying hearts.
Open drawers.
Students laughing hysterically.
Snape's eyes moved slowly across the scene.
Then settled on Lockhart.
A long silence followed.
Finally—
"Having trouble with your furniture, Lockhart?"
The classroom exploded.
Again.
Even the mirror laughed.
Lockhart looked as though he wanted to disappear entirely.
Meanwhile, Mira calmly continued writing in her notebook while Draco stared determinedly at the ceiling. Neither looked toward the desk. Neither acknowledged the catastrophe unfolding before them. Yet somehow, as Lockhart battled rebellious drawers, affectionate furniture, self-writing quills, and a mirror determined to praise him into madness, both of them appeared remarkably satisfied. And somewhere beneath the chaos, hidden within the enchanted desk itself, a final drawer quietly opened and released a tiny banner that unfurled above Lockhart's head.
WORLD'S MOST ADMIRED WIZARD
The mirror immediately gasped, "I couldn't agree more."
The lesson never recovered after that.
ns216.73.217.14da2
and then Add to home screen.