Friday. Afternoon. 4:00 pm90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pV4RxqTOI
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This was absurd. How did I end up in this position?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eSBN3LBTU
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Earlier today, I was prepping myself for our first study session. And now, I was left standing in front of a door. With this guy standing at the entrance, messy hair, eyes that could cause nightmares just by looking into them, and that less prominent darkness just below them. Less prominent than yesterday at least.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5a4x6HeNy
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He just ambushed me with a question.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBFohnqnDz
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Solve x squared minus six x plus five equals zero. By completing the square.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1R3iVzoeJe
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Why?
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Was this supposed to be a code that I needed to answer before I could enter? Was his apartment supposed to be a sacred room?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8btAnhh6XV
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I gripped my own hand.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPOYmCN4aE
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“I…” I hesitated, all I could do now was guess. But I didn’t know what to guess.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94uSAPmY70
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“Five seconds.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWPDx4Prp7
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“I… I don’t know,” I finally said. I thought it was better to be honest. Because maybe if I gave the wrong one there would be a consequence. “I’m sorry.” I dropped my gaze to the floor.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5iCuVFEv8
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“Did you read the notes?”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZt0cDDvBy
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My eyes went lower than the floor.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAgLbeop1x
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I did read them. But I only read the parts where the practice exam questions were. If I had known, I would have read further.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEWOHn72y8
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I sighed.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYeAJXPK27
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“I did,” I said, quietly. It was true that I did but… “but… I haven’t gotten far.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIAlROeC5W
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After he wrote those notes for me… I should have done better.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFV5yAaYYO
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But something clicked in me.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDLIPYTbbU
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Because after all… he could have asked me any question. Like he could have asked me English, science or even Japanese history. And I only had a night to read all of the notes. And there were nine of them in total. Sure, six was what he said we were going to use to study. But still…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIj5cdoR6k2
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I frowned.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoZFaSWcgt
I felt my eye twitch a little.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfs3cuNlWRc
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Then I immediately stared into his eyes. Fierce. Brave.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQg1aI0RiDA
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“Besides, why are you ambushing me with a question before you let me in?” I asked, firm. Very firm, as firm as my voice could sound. “Is this how our first study session will be?”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqzKJK4pSX
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I confronted him. I never confronted him before. I had never even considered that this situation would even happen in the first place. And now I was here, studying his face, looking for some weaknesses.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf91N004wSx
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I only found his usual stern look. His look that never changed.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8KyvUo3f6
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“Fair,” he said. “Come in then.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cywOHhtag
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He turned around and left the door open.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNokJR8tYS
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I just looked at him.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWDGeJerxC
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Then I closed my eyes, bit my lip and tightened both my hands.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDv9wNzix5
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Breathe, Runa breathe. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkmw7UJiMs
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I wanted to say more. I wanted to ask him why he was trying to become like a warden that presented a hero’s trial letting only the worthy pass through.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfc76IrjVKH
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This was already making me exhausted, and the whole study session hadn’t even started yet.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRIz2wHH0d
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I entered, closed the door behind me, took off my shoes by the entrance and placed them neatly close to the center.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNbrOn6iwf
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This was my third time coming here. But this was only the second time that I got in.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9jAEHrhIc
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I bowed.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ISo42TWZT
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“Excuse me.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmdGY6mVbO
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Then navigated the whole way towards the living room.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3kTpgMRJE
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Inside, I chose to sit at the end of the longer sofa near the smaller one, just like last time.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ilKGrY5NL
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And just like last time...90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI21v0FKGwo
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“Water, soda or orange juice.” He asked from the kitchen.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJq4nHc3se
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“Soda.” Why?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQBGrna5pW
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I wanted orange juice. Did I really like soda that much that I had to request it twice?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9ssK68Svw
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I really don’t understand myself, I wasn’t nervous this time.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dYzrskZRa
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He came back with a glass— soda, ice— placed it on the table with a fabric coaster beneath it.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFLx0PI6uM
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“We’ll use this table,” he said without looking at me, “we start after you’re done resting.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx34tF17wlj
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He walked around the small table to sit at the opposite end of the longer sofa where he sat last time. And like last time he pulled the book he left on there, sat, then started reading.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2WJ24yMiY
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I thought about it for a moment.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybO6YJqD0E
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Was that why he ignored me last time too?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpToNhvEndy
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“We’re studying math today,” he said.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRSFThuAhX
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I paused. Then silently sighed in relief.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3y8KErP3u
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Thank god I took math with me today. If he had said another subject other than math, science, or English then I would have ended up scratching my head.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdiPgTEtkO
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I stood up, took my bag with me then sat and tucked my feet under me in front of the table. Behind me was the smaller sofa.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0rS9Xqk7n
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My hand carefully reached inside my bag and took out the math notebook. I took a pen out too, just in case.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oMaqe8bjh
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I felt the surface of the table first. It felt smoother than it looked. The wood seemed rough but I guess it was just the design. It looked quite expensive.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66NrWtpoxT
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I gently placed the notebook on the table.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gymvrISvr
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For now, I would put the pen beside it.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNXjiCHojR
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I stared at the math notebook for a second.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYjnD9f9TW
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He wrote this for me. He wrote this and did not sleep for a night.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEbVTZDl9g
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Am I really worth making these notes for?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FeGowX6lc
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Although he said it was to help me, but somehow I couldn’t accept such a simple answer. But I had to accept it. So I guess… I would just accept it.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjPBRL6zui
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I flipped the cover of the notebook and no matter how many times I had already seen it, it still mesmerized me. His handwriting was neat. Unlike his hair. His marks and labels were colorful. Unlike his personality.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMOL4rfPdX
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I giggled a bit.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPoua5b8or
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Then a thought popped in my mind.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXUmcMHHf2
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Oh yeah, we were not going to start yet.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThtIn9QqG4
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I stretched my feet under the table and continued to drink the soda.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVu6xUiuQw
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Then it felt awkward.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1R4QCzUsAH
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Why was I being comfortable in someone else’s house?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsgLPfddBL
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I hurriedly stood up, grabbed the glass of soda with me, took a few steps toward the smaller sofa and sat down.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0feLKHneD
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What was I doing? I felt like I was doing so many unnecessary things just now. Standing, sitting in front of the table, standing again and walking towards this sofa.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpIQvTmaNY
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I stared at my soda, it was almost half empty. I held it with both hands this time and placed it on my lap.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOjeH2eI7k
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My head then looked up without me meaning to.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrlstPiFNZ
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The ceiling again. It looked the same as last time.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAHoJG2fNS
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I closed my eyes, and chanted the words inside my head.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtjUMICc8e
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Focus… Just focus…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUwvywNnUt
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I resolved myself. I was ready. I brought myself here. All I needed was to focus, learn and study. There was no doubt in me anymore, no more anxiety building up, and I shouldn’t let hesitation take over me.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSh41syYL6
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I had to. I needed to. I didn’t need any distractions. I didn’t need anything consuming my mind away from my goals.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVwvU0Ypyx
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Even about that…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2qhE4tAyM
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I paused. I didn’t want that to surface. I had been burying it inside me for the past two days and I didn’t want it to come out at this moment.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRFOvJJXfn
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Not now… Not later… Not yet…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9xX3T3RZB
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I kept my eyes closed… then waited…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxE1fymLQr
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Five minutes have passed…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPJ0ZCyYmr
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I took a deep breath.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHolWUdFEME
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Eight minutes have passed…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1e4EiL7TMI
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I opened my eyes.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPUgwUTPtU
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The sweat from the glass of soda had started to soak my uniform. I almost didn’t notice.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNe0WXEBa4q
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I lifted the glass, there was no more sound of the ice cubes hitting it, and the soda had already mixed with them.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8oU8mZZnf
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“Are you done?” Kuroiwa asked.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIteee0Cbr
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Did he notice me?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3iCwTOq9Y
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I looked at him. He was still reading.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AyikHRIq8
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“...Yeah,” I paused for a fraction of a second before I replied.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyqXOuMlKl
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“Then let’s start.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM176mjGn3m
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“...Okay.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozfizGkdyA
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I looked at the ceiling one last time before standing up.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBGXlI5Yeu
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And again, I took another breath, shallower this time.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDIc8xl9UF
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I walked towards the table, knees first on the cushion I just sat on earlier, tucked my feet under me and sat. Then I carefully placed the half empty glass of soda on the coaster where it was earlier.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxhCVGNVGO
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Kuroiwa stood up,90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteVyPlWF3x
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“Wait here,” he said as he walked around the table.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIXGbRCxfW
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He picked up the glass of soda.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXO4U1Ma43c
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I flinched. I didn’t mean to.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQSsmkbNz8
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I looked at him but he continued to walk towards the kitchen. I was guessing it was to put the glass in the sink.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9jz2CjGGo
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He was still his slow and unhurried self. Just taking his time. Strolling around his house.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiqf45hdrP
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Though I was glad he didn’t notice me flinch. I mean, wouldn’t that be rude to him, just because he got near me I had to slightly jump back.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGmHp3diXf
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Like I was…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dP7gxlS3U
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I held that thought. I held it deeply. Pulled it in deeper.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYmp6iwpfE
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I was too into my thoughts that I didn’t realize Kuroiwa had already come back and was sitting at the opposite side of the table… in front of me.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBOIq2m8Fb
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He had two notebooks placed on the table.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSePCXGE0V
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He slid them to me carefully.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8ihz4sjcN
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“What are these?” I asked.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTz9PKeA5S
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“The one on the left has equations to be solved,” he said. Without gesturing or pointing. “The one on the right is a blank one, where you write your solutions and answers.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyxvGRzcBO
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I pulled them closer to me and inspected what was inside.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GUtDGi98X
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“The first page of the equations notebook is where we start, you open the blank notebook too,” he continued. “Also open your math notebook to page five.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX67iWFEmjO
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I did all of it.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiRucwvwMl
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When I opened the equations notebook, I wasn’t familiar with what was inside. The problems written in them were different compared to the ones that I was trying to solve last night.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyksTLCZNBT
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I took the math notebook.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrFPyIHNcE
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Page five, okay…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeEH6hq3FZ
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As soon as I turned the pages, I saw similar problems written on the equations notebook.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJ2B5Qtl9W
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While I was looking at them carefully, I started to remember, these seemed the same as what Mr. Tanaka had taught us yesterday. How could I have forgotten?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyqd0SwFuY
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraGDcbfubR
“What we are going to study is about solving quadratic equations,” Kuroiwa said.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡky8dwvVUG7
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgPdtYw18r
I almost thought I was sweating. I should know this. We just learned about it yesterday.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AbrnaMUTy
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0qAn3aOdq
“Umm… uhh… so… what’s a quadratic equation?” I couldn’t resist asking.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6NvR5c9nj
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwYnhBjjtQ
He definitely thought I was stupid for not remembering the lecture.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPaRYH9AC9
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqe9x4cI4GR
“Quadratic equations, in the textbook, is a second degree polynomial equation that can be written in a standard form as ax squared plus bx plus c equal to zero. Where a, b, and c are real numbers and a is not equal to zero,” he said. His voice calm, he explained everything precisely, and patiently.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4kLdpFvWT
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I blinked.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVKVtP9AZF
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I was a bit surprised. Not because I didn’t understand one thing of what he said. Yes, I didn’t.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4WLerqNQ7
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQcxV6eJvM
But because he was patient. I thought he would be sarcastic and annoyed because it was already explained to us yesterday. But he wasn’t.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrSOpHCpfY
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfRN1L1uEn
I stared at my notes. All the intentions of focus gathered in my eyes.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRf2ogls05e
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyCl5pqIip
“The textbook’s definition is quite long and confusing,” he continued.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXUYGJScEJ
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I nodded slightly in agreement. I would nod more and profusely but I didn’t want to look silly.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNNwUgw6Lj
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7NGaN8VT7
“So just think of it like this. If the beginning of the equation starts with a number and the x beside it is in the second degree.” He pointed towards the equation notebook he gave me, which I placed above the math notebook leaving enough gap between me and it.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlT2d85gHx
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I wasn’t bothered. Why would I be bothered?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPLKKyOkhY
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“If you see this, then it’s most likely a quadratic equation.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejVGCYnyCa
I stared at where he was pointing. But I was careful not to get too close.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMO8QQiyEWq
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOC9qszyah
“Okay, so if the x has like this tiny number two above it, then it means it’s a quadratic equation?” I asked.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYqNgP6Yog
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“Not a definitive yes,” he answered.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeAT2RCcHG
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“Why?”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28kk5lCK81
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“Because there are equations that begin with x squared but could not be written in standard form, and also if the number beside x squared is zero then it is not a quadratic equation.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCyMKox3O2
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgesjKjSyf
“Hmm?” I tried with all my brain cells to make sense of what he said. “It’s so confusing.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREGedHgLzW
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PA4FFZRu0
“It is, but let me give you an example.” Kuroiwa leaned forward towards me, slowly pulled the blank notebook that I placed on the left side of the math notebook.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTW4DJVYVOP
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8by5nSiuf
But then he tried to grab the pen I was holding.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHoXJ2Nop2
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My body moved on its own.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWt7S9inOG
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I leaned back, placed my hand on the floor to support my weight… then… my vision narrowed.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmpFP80zea
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBac8qmDee
My stomach fluttered, and slowly, I was pulling back even more.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OQsjjtWsT
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcT0fYahJsS
At that moment, I couldn’t hear anything. He might have called my name but it didn’t register to me.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVseURmd5uq
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLAzlPOx8Y
I never intended to do this, I tried to resist. But my mind kept spiraling down to the words I had been avoiding since last night, since the night before and the night before that. The possibilities. His proximity. The way it was hard for me to understand every explanation he said just now.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNunItCFo0e
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Everything made the words become real…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowlfjP6Edm
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Condition.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0rL58xJe3
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Touch.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaBQToKToi
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Five minutes.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbGNdgB2W5
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I pulled back further… and further…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaH87TIbCF6
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And the fluttering started to creep in deeper… and deeper...90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNnmPxcIMW
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His hands. It was all that I could see right now. And the more I saw it, the more I moved.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4akIVUijv
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF2TDp5JAf
“Miyase-san?” Finally I was able to hear him.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhIjAnOjv4
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJlKWwGHwp
“Ah.” My voice was shaking but I managed to steady it enough to form words to say. “I-I’m sorry, I-I was… just… surprised.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSA90Ls7mN6
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I wasn’t lying.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ynzQ0zA9I
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He sat back to his side of the table. Straight. Then looked at me carefully.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9ZM9BOMWE
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I avoided his gaze.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorxqzlOE4V
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“Miyase-san.” His voice still sounded the same as he always sounded.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntmBYTTKT9
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMb9UwbvtRG
Even at a time like this.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPEJH0yHzW
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No… why would I even think that?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DiooCr95E
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Why am I bothered?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIScB2Yr4b
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“Do you need a break?” he said.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnigduXiWg2
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I didn’t answer. But I leaned further back to realize I was already hitting the smaller sofa behind me.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfgHZc4tWq
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But…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgfmlrc89B
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It hadn’t been ten minutes since we started. Why would I need a break… why? I need to concentrate. I need to study… If I fail…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmiC17HMuS
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No… please stop thinking.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnGlrlVCrm
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I closed my eyes tight… very tight.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBlpvgIO37
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Then I felt him stand up.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJf6NUmFRJ
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I jumped. I took my bag and placed it on my lap and curled myself into a ball.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oyVJfLBS5
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnWLZfYYiP
“Let’s take a break,” he said. And I felt him walk away from me. “Wait here.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0lBPysWOS
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I remained as I did. Never moved. Not even a finger.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirecvQzLmW
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I tightened the grip of my hand on my knees.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8E5FqxpFo
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Why today? Why did I have to be like this today? Why couldn’t I just focus? Why couldn’t I just concentrate? Just study… just stay still and not make things complicated. Everything was already complicated enough... and I was making it worse.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvTZQX1vAg
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Why?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaOI39u0vo
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…
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…
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But why did he even make such a condition? Why every single time I met him he was being unreasonable? Why couldn’t he just be normal? Why couldn’t he just not be weird? Just be regular… just teach me as a regular person and not make things complicated. He was the one who planted all these complicated thoughts and feelings in me… and it was getting worse.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EyReQiZZm
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2OLtotbZE
…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7lwm9X6y3
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdo86MBoyoQ
…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjO5cF5wGyg
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Why?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsoUv2Gj42
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bSdb1CrLl
I shouldn’t have come here… But I failed my practice exams…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdR6cA1LmBj
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAY2b1w8qEg
I shouldn’t have agreed… But he said he wouldn’t let me fail…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyrIKN569t
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEVEZ8BmZZ
I should’ve just let Mika, Hina and Yui teach me again… But I don’t want to burden them anymore…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstgRQln93X
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIebaN3sGdd
I shouldn’t have… But…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznLe6lk39P
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I… I don’t know…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmMdMK7pdX
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I—90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxcrFfrjcZ
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“Miyase-san!”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGS6twFjGw0
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I slowly opened my eyes. Reluctant. Careful.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgjVag6DEF
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He showed up far away from me… to his side of the table… sitting90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYy5ED6wWI
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“Water,” he said.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzT3IWi3gxA
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I saw the glass of water that was carefully placed on my side of the table. A fabric coaster under it. Away from the notebooks.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8GTaGSypZ
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“Don’t worry,” he continued, “I didn’t get near you.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYF2JfGW35V
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My mouth opened. I wanted to say something… But what was that something?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVT3zOfvDL0
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“I’m sorry…” I just whispered.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1dxz8jFQS
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“About?” he asked, I was surprised he even heard me, but I was more surprised he asked.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYmCnlRcaK
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“Because… I—”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvD1bYtyyYR
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“I’m used to it,” he said.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEqukhit6R
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Huh?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5A4sEyJl9
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“Ever since I was in elementary school, everybody seemed to avoid me. So I’m used to it.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiQ7HImpbq
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No… You’re wrong…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8augn5CpK
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“It’s my fault that I got close to you without warning. I should’ve been more careful.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMr5Cthmlj
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That was not…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NcOZUQNhh
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“I went to my room to get an extra pen and notebooks. I also made sure that when I got back, I didn’t get near you. And also I placed the water at your side of the table without getting close to you. I also put your pen back to where it was.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ58aEoIS3k
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He bowed in front of me… His forehead almost touching the table.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOmFgaE40i
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“I apologize… Sincerely.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNg7BYfT8Z
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I was looking at him… then slowly… my gaze turned towards my knees.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Gb9Wrt5qK
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ws2hLn5TV
I didn’t say anything. I just let the sound of the ticking clock fill the living room.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48L7d5TdFW
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTVcfhZjcO
One second… Two seconds… A few more seconds…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQw8Ey8w6gx
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“C-can I use your bathroom?” I finally said.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmOxJ0fHOe
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“Sure, on the main hall, right side from the living room.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPY8FQzQCNq
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“Thank you.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYi4lEnOTS5
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I stood up. Steady. I tried to gain my balance. Then headed towards where the bathroom was.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QnUaNit2o
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4zzY7R2X2
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Friday. 4:36 pm90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnd4oip3RX
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Inside, my tears just kept flowing.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3b41UZ31w
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I was trying to dry them with my hand, fanning them like I was about to be interrogated, just like in the detective drama I watched with my mom last week.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SqzV93WBM
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I didn’t want to ruin my makeup. I didn’t want to still feel overwhelmed.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKGzKyQ9Hb
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I didn’t want to cry.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53VT99GuV5
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But they kept pouring… tracing my cheeks… dripping down my chin…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WaIuA8cfK
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Breathe, Runa just breathe.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMLTluzv9G
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I did, multiple times.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKgW9rgurF
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I really needed to solve myself first before solving any equations out there.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslhBIbdJnJ
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Inhale… Exhale… one more… and one more…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtJZZz8ebW
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It hurts… it hurts that I had to be this way. That I had to be so out of focus like that, when he…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJXqRrJyol
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He was not even thinking about them. And I was there… Drowning in the depths of each of those words.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVmUbqTDy8
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I stopped my hand. And I stared at myself in the mirror.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQLQ9q1iJe
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What a mess… I was such a mess…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXu3K4TTmI6
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I wanted to laugh, I wanted to hear myself going crazy.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhhWkfOYuS
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…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgswMazBDY
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But I couldn’t, there was still some reason left in me.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LoyycAMck
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I remembered what Hina said this morning, I remembered how I saw Kuroiwa slip and fall during gym class.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8aRd061n9
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He’s only a human being. I shouldn’t keep acting scared in front of him. No, I shouldn’t even be scared of him even when he wasn’t there.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ564eDlMhQh
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Condition?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLAa2cHOpx
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So what!?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8gaVpbwqp
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If I failed, then it was his fault. I came here. I showed my resolve. And he said he wouldn’t fail me.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZXEpaDMMm
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I would keep studying. He should keep teaching me.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AwkwkYsox
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And if I failed. There was no reason for me to comply.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHhFrZ6G44
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHd5bEEJ2hG
I did not promise. He didn’t even want me to say that I accepted his condition. In fact I did not say I accepted. I just came here.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBD9dVsZD0a
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Because I believed the things he was trying to sell to me. And I wouldn’t let him scam me.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5w2DCXCGVD
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQs8WPDrhhf
If it came to that. If I really did fail. Even just one subject.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99iN2IkPyk
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelapzn3wgY
I stared at myself in the mirror again. Then slapped my face with both my hands to both my cheeks. I was careful not to leave a mark.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzHhxlfLqZ
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Wake up…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAZb9cxrwv
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If I did fail. Then it was his turn to be slapped.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXayfHWg3mb
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“I will be fine.” I told myself.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDcdKEfeLc
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I would always be fine.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8HDaRlv1q
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JaTggbyUR
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Friday. 5:02 pm90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAin0xKP4X2
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I messed up.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYLli9UWSG
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It took long for me to calm down. It took longer for me to reapply my makeup.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKj1HxjCth
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Luckily I took my bag with me when I went to the bathroom. Otherwise, if I didn’t, my face would have looked horrendous.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouNWaAyKoI
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I wouldn’t want anyone to see me without my make up. I was fine if my family and friends saw. But I would die if anyone else did.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡde2Y6n0aVB
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXR1pKqhkZ
I braced myself. Took a long breath. Then opened the door to the living room. I saw Kuroiwa scribbling into the notebook he got for himself.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEv0ZfZAVkf
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“I’m back,” I said.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BRRQRGCNj
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He stared at me then nodded.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZm13WUIwv7
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I went back to sit in front of the table, opposite of him. Then I gently placed my bag beside me.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVPKk5juWK
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jAgFaR7KZ
“I’m sorry about earlier.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cUe2oVCsm
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“It’s fine.” He paused. He probably was trying to be careful with his words. “Are you okay, now?”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVCb6WYLe0
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJVvebv9PA
His voice still sounded like he always did though.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwMnczjozz
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I smiled a little bit.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoiyWcb749
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He didn’t waste any time and started.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0U2UWLQAQ7
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“So let’s start from the beginning—“90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvi1bhoGyC
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Did I hear it right? From the beginning?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9vOMwrrAj
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtzEwtcPTE
“The textbook definition of a quadratic equation—“90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUoA554G9T
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Word for word.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoZvExV0jr
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“It is confusing, but if you think about it like this—“90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8hk2oQO1K
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Seriously?90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSpdgtzJKw
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I ended up just staring at him.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteLUaHqn2l
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I sighed.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Hput69ReE
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“Were you listening?” he asked.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHgU8uqyMs
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Honestly, I wasn’t.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT5nLIpHMM
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“Sorry,” I said.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfgLYaGRV8
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpebXrJfFMP
“It’s fine. Let’s start from the start. This time make sure you listen.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zd7h84GGa
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZs1ac056jD
I opened my mouth. But I guess I had no choice so I listened.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubJcvs64Nm
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Every word, every sentence, the way he told them. Ended up always the same.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuGTpefLte
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I asked a question from time to time. But every time I did, we started again from the beginning.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3OBRqDp4T
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That was quite exhausting… a bit annoying… but it’s different…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPuybPPlYG
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Maybe there’s something to this difference. I don’t really know. But every loop got me focused more and more.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpJSyZPZNr
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He looped a few more times. I listened intently.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQoSxUGDY6
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And then...90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlv2LKOrQQY
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“So, what is a quadratic equation?” he asked.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPQjRIwau1
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I blinked.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYo8GMiHOp
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“Umm... A quadratic equation is an equation that starts with an x that has a subscript of 2 above it and also the number beside the x with a subscript of 2 shouldn’t be a zero. Also the next part of the equation has a negative or positive number that is beside an x with no subscript and then a number that is either a positive or negative or a zero.” I answered. “Oh, and also the number beside the x with no floating 2 on it could also be a zero and if that is the case then I don’t need to write it. Also… also… an equal sign and a positive or negative number or a zero on the other side of the equal sign.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKTZ6D00sH
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I got that from my memory. Everything he said jumbled up and mixed together. And I was able to say that. It was longer than I remembered him describe it but… I think I did get it…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuDHLyV0bf
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I looked at him for approval.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JnCZNP30x
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“You’re right,” he said.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75rdMUcEHd
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My eyes widened.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObcyxcG7ve
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“So let’s move to the next part. Open the equations notebook on page one and I’ll show you how to solve it.”90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbaPR98AVF
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He taught me patiently.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfWQtpdtue
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He would write down the solution to his notebook, slide it carefully towards me and then I copied it…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYkshLvZ2I
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktnB1IUHxa
The way he wrote the characters was larger so that he could point it to me from where he sat and I would be able to see them with no problem.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2YFXLWVqP
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHM7NjNg6To
To be honest… I almost copied the exact same sizes of the letters and numbers that he wrote.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6q2GIJRO41
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscg8XXY7gl
He explained to me about factoring. Taught me how to divide the equation into two parentheses. Taught me how to determine the right numbers next to it inside the two parentheses. And then how to find the value for each equation afterwards.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7M4S48Ts5
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuewUAseN0J
We repeated. Multiple times. And it felt heavy on my head. But then it would become lighter each loop.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbjrzBa05N
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9z5RYa0JM
When he made me solve an equation. He did the same. I asked a question. Repeat. I made a mistake somewhere. Repeat. I got the right answer but I struggled along the way. Repeat.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0P1xdb4glN
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Every. Single. Time.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPFIqltCpt
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOm1c7cT2XJ
But when I looked at the notebook that once had blank pages when he gave me, now filled with solutions that I was slowly starting to get. It made me keep going. I felt I was on the right track.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjpk0cJSYQ
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3dweBgQ8G
One equation later… three equations later… then finally the fifth one…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESY0PGAlUt
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I smiled.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Y41h2p0tp
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I smiled with all my heart. It was the first time ever that I was able to solve an equation without anyone’s help.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ34AEdO6F3
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzXzptM3nc
The fifth equation, I did by myself. And when I was done, I showed it to Kuroiwa. Sliding my notebook towards him. I tried to analyze his face. Then he showed that look that means I was right.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74BLA7QpUI
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I didn’t even need him to tell me I was right.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6G4LxOIyBo
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5riJ7dops
His expressions almost always never changed. But since we had been doing this for, who knows how long now, I started to learn the difference between his normal face and the subtle changes in his expressions whenever I got things right.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzeRgu1knH
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpZ3sb6lAl
So far, that’s the only subtlety I had found out about him… For now, at least.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMH82HfjhW
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqP1o1LZ4U
But before I could even celebrate he already told me to solve another equation.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IMnu6flEi
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3gMEU66Z3
I groaned… In my thoughts… Like always.90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9OT9m26MH
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaMPshpjhw
But still… All these equations…90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytC4aRbfcY
90Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoWurfNHpc
I was glad I was finally able to understand how to solve them now.
and then Add to home screen.