I stared at my reflection in the water below. I could see my hands shivering from what I've just done.
I didn't had a choice.
Not everyone had choices.
Sometimes, all you can do is the thing that your heart and mind tells you not to do.
We all make hard choices, right? And this is the hardest thing I've done.
I didn't want to die. I wanted to live. And the only thing to do that is have someone take my place. Someone with a fire burning high. Someone with much life and vigor.
And she was the only choice.
So, I brought her out. I told her we would go for a walk since the sun was shining bright.
"What came to you? Suddenly wanting to talk a walk?" She asked. Her voice like chimes in the wind.
I laugh. "Nothing. Do I need a reason to take my love out for a walk? Besides, I saw a place up the mountain which I'm sure you'll love."
She smiled. Fluttering my heart and my resolved almost waver.
Suddenly, it began to rain.
We ran towards a nearby convenience store and brought a bright yellow umbrella.
Laughing like kids at Christmas, we braved the rain with only a single umbrella covering our head.
And I showed her this cliff. It wasn't very high. But below were jagged rocks and a mesmerizing lake.
She loved it at first sight.
She let the umbrella go and ran towards the end of the cliff to take more of the scenery in. She was caught in the moment.
And I was caught in her.
She was drench in the rain but she was still beautiful. Almost, angelic. Specially when she looked at me with love in her eyes.
My heart wanted to die for her. My mind told me not to do it. But I didn't had a choice. It was me or her. And if you were in my position I'm sure you'll choose yourself.
So, I took a step closer to her. She turned to face me and smiled brightly.
"Thank you for bringing me here. I loved it." I savored her voice. Because I know I will never hear it again.
I took another step closer to her and leaned down to whisper in her ears.
"I love you."
And as I pulled back, I gave her a shove and she fell towards the rocks. Her face a mask of shock and hurt.
I felt tears in my eyes as I fell to my knees.
It wasn't easy.
Actually, nothing is ever easy.
But you can accomplish things if you work hard for it. Its just that sometimes, or most of the times, a person fails because of another person. It feels like the ground beneath your feet will let you fall or your world turns black and white.
And right now, mine is gray. The only color I could see is the bright yellow umbrella besides me. A painful reminder of someone I've failed.
Of someone who fell. And I felt like my heart had fallen with her.
I was supposed to be her angel.
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