1995copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjYnfMXoWX

The day I met her she left like the wind. I didn’t have enough time, or energy, to catch up with her. I remember, so very clearly, when she stared up at me and I looked into her eyes for the first time. She was writing something foreign in the mud that was still soft from that morning’s rain. When I asked her what she was writing she wouldn’t respond to me. I remember kneeling down, touching her frail shoulder, and asking her again. Yet she wouldn’t respond to me. There was a mischievous, unearthly smile that if she had looked up at me, would have lit up the entire stretch of road that we were both standing on. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1409XuIg2

“What are you doing?” I asked, kneeling down closer to her level. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmkhz94Lb8

“Writing,” she said. “I’ve written lots of things in the mud.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ns3bHP86L

“Why?” I asked, cocking my head. “Paper has to be better than mud!” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gMagW8LFo

She looked up at me. It was then that I noticed how mature her eyes were for someone in such a young body. Sighing, she slumped her shoulders. I stood there hoping for a response from her, but never got one. It was like an invisible line was above both of us — and with her uttering a simple word, it would come down, collapsing at both our feet. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxL8PkhT6t

“Are you going to tell me?” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bgufsb4Ah

She shook her head. Instead, we both sat in silence. It was like she was breathing in the air, everything around her. She took a deep breath in and extended her hand out. I was expecting her small body to have hands of equal size, but they were not. They looked like artist’s hands. Or hands of an accomplished pianist.copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHyCROz0ze

“You have big hands.” I had to break the silence. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡonMavCvNvC

“Appa thinks so too,” she said. “I have his hands. Working hands. I wish I had eomma’s hands, though. They were the hands of a model. But I never met her.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxNx23Zd7A

“Is she dead?” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXi3A9Saas

She shook her head. “No. She left me. I don’t remember her. Maybe she’s a famous model in Seoul.”copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzPcJlOe8j

“Then why do you wish you had her hands if you’ve never met her?” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpREWTHW7P

“Because of the pictures appa showed me. You ask too many questions. I don’t even know you! Besides it’s time for me to go back home.”  copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCNPFoZyy9

Her eyes looked up at me and I could see the kind of longing in them that I would see in a drama. Except for the drama, this was reality. I was standing in front of a girl who, for being so young, possessed so much maturity in the way we looked at everything surrounding her. Though both of us were young, I wished that at that moment, I asked more about her. She had walked away from me too soon and I didn’t know when I would see her again. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YJPasaYHj

“What’s your name?” I shouted across the distance. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyIadF3VBa

She turned around and smiled as she shouted back, “Park Eun Ha!”copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8NyYtWX1v

          I walked away too and began making my way towards my home. I could see the picture in my mind. Eomma was in the kitchen getting the final preparations of our family dinner. My appa would be on the couch watching his news program and screaming his political disagreements at the television. It was like that almost every night with my family. Being the only child, my parents noticed when I was late. It was always a hot button topic at the dinner table when such things happened, so I made sure that my walking pace was fast so that I could make in on time. Walking faster turned into running, letting my mind melt into my surroundings. Soon, I was one with everything. The trees. The wind. The sun. The ground. My soul, in that moment, was gone from my body. The moist air smelled like after-rain. It was pure intoxication. But in one moment, it came crashing down, when that girl sneaked her way into my mind. Park Eun Ha. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71tQREj2D1

    291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG20Ud0rA2Q
                      copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVz35MI9Ik

291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZvKnqlFjv
Several years later copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡktt71rBYpC

 Today was graduation day. The biggest day of my life. I had worked so hard to achieve one of the highest honors a university student could. I smiled to myself as I looked in the mirror. Today was the day I would finally become a man. I was going to get my degree and make something of myself.  copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwDXnvCGxf

“Hyun Soo…” A voice carried into my room. I turned around, noticing that I was staring at my mother. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡISbhWh4EqM

“Eomma,” I said. “What is it?” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLfsThTufi

“I just… can’t believe that my son is growing up. It was just like yesterday you were an infant.”copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JPKHcfjTN

She was right. I smiled to myself as I looked in the mirror. Today was the day I would finally become a man, at least to myself and my family. I took a deep breath in and prepared myself for the activities of the day. When I turned around and saw myself in the mirror on my door once more, I said goodbye. Goodbye to the kid that would sit for hours at the desk beside his bed. Goodbye to the kid who would watch Star Wars and drink a bottle of soju. Goodbye to the kid who laid for hours in bed, staring at the ceiling…wishing that a single breath would bring his father back. When the door shut behind me, everything in my past shut with it. The sunlight from the copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBFKTC1Xhs

 As we proceeded to drive to the graduation site, I began to think about heavier things that had been weighing down on me for the past few years. When my first semester of college began, I received news that my father had stage IV pancreatic cancer and only had a matter of time before he was going to pass away to the spirit world. I didn’t want to think of the day of his death— today. I remember… the look in his eyes as he laid on his deathbed. He refused to die in the hospital. His last request burned into the deepest parts of my mind, shaking me to my core. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgdZI7gCBw

          copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIfKsWWIfQ

291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmlPMFUNQg
Incheon copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOsbzlOAi5

      The windows had teardrops on the panes as I walked into my father’s room. I couldn’t bear to look at the emaciated figure on the bed. That man wasn’t my father. The cancer had stolen him from me. I couldn’t connect with him. He was already dead as he barely spoke a word. Usually when I would walk into a room, he was the first to speak and the one who had to have the last word. His abdomen was barely moving up and down. I had to check — several times, just to make sure. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33lh34okGZ

“Abeoji,” I said. My voice was barely above a whisper and my gaze was still towards the window. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBH5la2iSi

“Please,” he said, his hand trembling as he gently placed one over my own. “Open the window. I want to hear the rain before I die.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8o7AAGWohf

“Yes, abeoji.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡukiPBlUZFB

I slowly walked away and opened the window. I stood there, still staring outside. In the distance, I saw a young boy with his father, walking hand in hand. The tears pricked my eyes and I grimaced. If only my father was well enough — that would have been him and I walking towards the lake to fish. I swallowed the large lump in my throat and turned around to face my father again. This time it was even harder. His breath was the sound of sandpaper rubbing against cement. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwcGByREQK

“Hyun Soo,” he said his voice weaker than ever before. “Get your mother…” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZ84zJKv81

I ran out, but eomma was already standing in front of the door, her eyes an earthquake of sorrow. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCm3sXomX4

“It’s appa…” I said, breathing heavily… “I think he’s…” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWAaDcIuRy

She nodded her head and walked in with me. My father was still breathing. A wave of relief swept over my body. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOxnS76DDe

“Abeoji!” I dashed to the side of his bed and lost control. I rocked my body and sobbed like I was a newborn baby, longing for the touch and embrace of the strong man I put all of my trust in. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoQ1riYQFV

“Hyun Soo… I have one last request… This is for you…” He rasped, his eyes showing the pain of a man who had too much suffering. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCRwMvIuZz

“Yes abeoji. Please tell me.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eoABgHHTl

“G-Go to college. Be a successful man. Be the man you were always meant to be. Graduate at the top of your class and make your father proud.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyJNAb5y1L

“Yes, abeoji.” I nodded, my voice resolute and firm. “I will. I will keep my promise.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWnmtaRbFQ

He smiled and expelled his last breath, his eyes closing. Somewhere else, they were taking their first opening as the day he was a newborn. He was taking his first breath in his new life. I wondered if he knew who I was. Here was his body without him in it… Where was he now? What did he look like? Was he in the room? I wished he was. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJ49jGq1nk

I looked up and as if my father was standing in front of me, I said, “I promise, abeoji. I will be the man you want me to be.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkT67thd2j

                                                                            copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwglSJwKUc

“Lee Hyun Soo.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGVFQfmhhJ

 My name was called. I walked across the stage and shook the hand of the president of the university. My handshake was firm, like a grown man’s. I couldn’t forget the rush that coursed through my veins. The happiness that I felt was bursting. It was all I could think about when I went back to sit down. Gone was the sad memory of my promise to my father. Instead, my father’s presence filled the auditorium with his ray of light. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡBE4vKbY2o0

Then I heard it. A name that was like music to my ears. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmxBIpkf9f

“Park Eun Ha.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKVnqMDM3U

“Park Eun Ha,” I mouthed the words. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFzBajM8mb

Could it have been the same Eun Ha that I had met with over the years and had lost contact with? She was at my university? How did I not know? And how… did she get into a school like this? It must have been another one of the same name. The last I heard from some of the locals, she was moving with her ailing grandmother to Busan. My best childhood friend whom I hadn’t seen in years.copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HxGig6Dvg

But it was like time stopped altogether when Park Eun Ha walked on the stage to receive her diploma. My heart skipped a beat or two. It was Eun Ha. Of course, she had changed much in ten years, but I knew without a doubt that was her. She smiled with confidence as she shook the president’s hand. I followed her with my eyes, watching her walk off the stage and back towards her seat. She walked past me, not looking my way. Which was to be expected. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX1OlsBYfE

    When the graduation ceremony was over, my mother found me and a few of my friends. She begged us to take pictures, but my mind was too preoccupied on finding Eun Ha. It had been too long.copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLjsnuM9D8

    “Hyun Soo!” My mother’s voice was stern. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMPSt88ALE

   “Huh?” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡREBSsXl3VA

  “What are you doing?” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOm2hJw3S9

   One of my friends, Ahn Mi Ra, nudged me in the side and laughed.copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdW25qbd0X

 “He’s looking for the love of his life… He must have seen her walking on the stage.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRBtK4q58m

Then she was there, standing near us with a group of girls. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQb2TsLpwE

“Eun Ha! Park Eun Ha!” I said, foregoing any of the honorifics that I had been raised to employ in society. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJRwLXWXaX

“Hello?” she said, her eyes becoming two narrow slits. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2PvwzAXFI

“It’s me! Lee Hyun Soo.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlzuosX9Su

 Her face turned pale, her eyes widened. But after a moment, the Eun Ha I knew from years ago shone through and her eyes lit up. She smiled, her lips turning into a curve. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsdFYZCUWN

“How have you been?” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQQGmngWkW

“Good. Halmeoni died a few years ago and I decided to come to university here. I didn’t know you were a student here. Funny…” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDhe8FG5Pz

“Me either,” I said scratching my neck. “Do you want to have sushi some time? There’s a sushi place I think you would like.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡzD1NjZMWTI

She nodded her head. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLzAsVXISi

“Meet me at the Namsan Tower tonight at 8. We have too much to catch up on.” copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡExVWL4Cs9s

I smiled. “I will.”copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1J62wp1jlV

Even though I was looking forward to facing my future head on, today was also a reminder that the past was never going to leave me. I found myself even more glad that I had lived up to my promise because life had given me back Park Eun Ha. A piece of my past and perhaps even part of my entire future.copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25GBG9xERq

291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxiJrwJT7L
copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwXRtJW6b5

291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJULfE8G0N0
copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡycPEfm3hFp

291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMmRB9xwXn
copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHvTjb2RPU

A/N: I hope you enjoyed my long short story. I recently lost one of my grandmothers to stage IV pancreatic cancer, so it was very hard for me to write since I'm an avid fan of K-Dramas but do not understand Korean. I don't understand the honorifics 100% so please forgive me of any inaccuracies :) I hope you enjoyed my story. copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLrfDUYz09

291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFU4omB8fI
copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡFymudCQhTw

​---Lexie copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5dbZxm2oc

291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZCEfhNVhB
copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFXnUAiTai

291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNniFZrcvo
291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAh4umtRYB7
copyright protection287ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PRpk41alU

54.162.133.222