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XI.
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Suguru woke up around 6 am. He figured you would be already out for your morning run and coming back soon for a shower and breakfast.
After making his bed and taking a shower himself, Suguru put on a pair of grey sweat pants and a black fitted t-shirt. His sleeve of tattoos partially exposed, his right arm covered in carefully designed Chinese, Japanese symbols, Nordic runes, and dragons. Aside from the pleasant although chaotic aesthetic, the artwork etched on his skin served as a form of seal or an amulet. Something to keep the darkness within in check.
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He decided something simple was in order, knowing you, there wasn’t much that he could get away with making and expecting you to eat with your rigorous diet requirements. Scrambled egg whites with some parsley, cherry tomatoes, salt, and pepper. For a drink, he prepared a blend of that green juice you liked: with green apples, pineapple, and celery.
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The raven-haired sorcerer set everything on the table and looked at his phone. It was 6:45 am. You were already late. You usually were back home by 6:30 am. Maybe you went out later and decided to extend your run. It was your free day after all.
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Although… you usually made sure Suguru knew so he wouldn’t worry.
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Grabbing his phone he texted you
***From: Sugu
To: Kitten 🐱
Breakfast is ready!***
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Immediately he heard your phone go off in your room. Now, that was weird. You always took your phone with you to listen to music while working out. Did you perhaps sleep in?
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Knocking at your door Suguru called “hey doll face! Are you awake?” No answer came back from the inside. He could not hear the shower running either. “Hey! I’m coming in” he announced but when he opened the door he found your room empty, your bed was still made and cold. Your phone is on the nightstand along with your apartment keys.
Fear coursed through his veins when he tried to check for your energy trail and found it long gone. You have been gone since last night.
“Fuck!” One didn’t need to be a genius to know Satoru had something to do with your disappearance.
Putting on his shoes he ran out the door. He had to find you before something bad happened. Gojo had not been in a good state of mind back in Japan, he didn’t even want to imagine what was going on in his head now that he had you so close. So stupid! Suguru should have kept a close eye on you instead of trusting that just because you were in the same apartment you would be safe from Satoru.
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Your mouth was dry, your body overheated and sore. The sun hitting your face made you groan softly, you tried to turn around and continue sleeping but you couldn’t. Your body was trapped by heavy and strong limbs wrapped around you.
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One pale and strong arm around your waist, the other supporting your head. Legs intertwined with Satoru’s. The platinum-haired man lay behind you spooning you. He had you on a death grip.
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Panic.
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Last night came rushing altogether, with the frenzied memories of the passionate sexual encounter you and Satoru shared. And of course that had not been it, in the middle of the night he woke you up with tender kisses on your thighs and his head between your legs, setting aflame your senses over and over again; he wanted to have you once more. The second round lead to the third and soon the sun was rising by the time your sweaty and exhausted bodies curled together to fall asleep in each other’s arms.
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You moved as softly as possible, trying not to wake up the sleeping sorcerer who snored slightly on your ear. Removing his arm from your middle section was first, then you proceeded to try and detangle your legs from his. He groaned and you stopped moving, looking behind you Satoru merely adjusted in his sleep and continued snoring lightly, allowing you enough time to leave the bed. Your clothes lay destroyed and scattered all over the floor.
Swallowing thickly you decided to grab a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt out of Satoru’s closet. You had to get out of there. NOW!
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Barefooted you left the suite and walked down the main hall hurriedly receiving weird stares from the people you crossed on your way out. Taking the elevator down your hands trembled. ‘Come on! Come on! Faster!’ mentally hurrying the elevator until you reached the lobby. As soon as that door opened you sprinted towards the main entrance where the hotel taxis lined up. You got in one and gave him your address.
The drive wasn’t long, when you made it home you told the cab to charge the ride to Gojo Satoru’s room. You didn’t have anything on you to pay. The kind-looking old cab driver agreed and left.
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You were about to walk in when Suguru came rushing out with a frantic look in his eyes. The moment he saw you his stomach tightened, you were dressed in Satoru’s clothes, barefooted, with your h/c hair disheveled and all the marks that covered your neck, visible through the collar of the shirt you wore. Your e/c eyes looked at him, rimmed with tears when you ran into his arms. Geto held you tightly for a moment giving you the solace you needed.
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“Come on y/n… let’s go inside” he whispered in your ear guiding you back into the building and towards the elevator.
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As soon as you made it up to your apartment you broke down. Suguru had to pick you up and take you to the couch where he held you in his arms
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“What happened Y/N?” He asked dreading the answer. Had Satoru forced himself on you? He didn’t even want to think about it. If his best friend had done that… Suguru would find a way to kill him.
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You shook your head and tried to calm down enough to speak but that didn’t happen for the longest time.
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Finally, when it seemed you cried a river you avoided Suguru’s eyes, looking down you said “I… fucked up… “ it was a small whisper “I slept with him” you admitted “he showed up here last night and warped us back to his hotel and then… everything got out of control” you avoided saying that Satoru had tried to force himself on you at the beginning. You didn’t want to make things worse than they already were.
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“I’m sorry…” you mumbled before you broke into tears once more. Suguru and you were not in a relationship but a part of you felt you had betrayed the possibility of a future with him last night.
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Suguru swallowed hard, he had no right to demand anything from you, it wasn’t your fault you were in love with Satoru and not with him. He still chose to remain by your side because he didn’t have the heart to leave you alone when you needed him the most.
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Crystalline blue eyes opened, he stared at the ceiling of his hotel room before a hand searched the spot on the bed next to him. It was cold and empty. He sat up like a spring, you were gone “Y/N!…” he yelled but you were not there anymore “fuck!” When did you leave? You didn’t even give him the chance to explain, to talk to you about what he felt and what he was willing to do to get you back. He didn’t want you to think last night had been a one-time thing nor an ‘exes fling’.
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It seemed he couldn’t do anything right. Last night had been… magical for a lack of a better word. He felt your love in your kisses, your tender, and passionate touch, in your arms he felt redeemed when you allowed him to have you Satoru thought…. he hoped to be on the way to get you back. Despite his mistakes and his guilt you welcomed him inside you once more and gave him everything.
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He didn’t want all those hours of love-making and love promises to mean nothing. He had to talk to you and he had to be ready to accept whatever it is you were going to say.
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Grabbing the shreds of your clothing from the floor he inhaled deeply finding your lingering scent on them. Once more, the fact he almost forced you to stab his chest with a piercing pang of guilt. Last night had been fueled by his jealousy. But when he realized what he was doing he changed his behavior and instead chose to show you how much he loved you, how much he needed you in his life.
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Something in him was changing. Last night he opened his eyes to the monstrosity he was capable of committing. It wasn’t right to do this to you. He was inadvertently destroying the shards of your relationship.
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A revelation washed over him like a bucket of cold water
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He had to be willing to lose you if he wanted a chance to get you back. It had to be your choice. He couldn’t rob you of your autonomy just because he was going to lose his shit if you chose to leave him for good.
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It took a few hours of getting ready mentally and preparing himself for what he was going to say to you. He wanted to talk to you and explain that what happened last night meant everything to him, he wanted to open his heart and lay it at your feet. He was afraid of what he was going to encounter. Will you reject him and tell him it was a mistake? Will you still push to go through with the divorce?…. Will you give him a chance to prove to you he was truly remorseful and willing to make changes to get you back?
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He warped outside of the door of your apartment and rang the bell.
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Suguru opened the door to see Satoru standing on the other side. His anger and frustration got the best out of him so he threw a punch that incredibly connected with Satoru’s cheek. The white-haired sorcerer stumbled backward but didn’t fall on the floor. He chose not to use his infinity on purpose, he owed that one to Suguru.
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“What do you want now Satoru?” Asked his best friend while standing in front of the door, his frame blocking the access.
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“Can I… talk to her?” Gojo asked in a tame tone, he didn’t come here to make demands, he wanted to fix things once and for all.
“I’ll talk to him Sugu” Your voice came from behind. Geto turned around to look into your eyes, doubt plagued his expression. He wasn’t certain it was the best thing right now. But before he could protest you continued “I’ll be alright… I have to do this…” squeezing his arm trying to comfort him Suguru sighed and nodded “I’ll be in my room if you need me” shooting Satoru a last warning glance he left walking down the hall.
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See you’ve been changing, baby
In good ways and bad ways
Can’t say what I say, it’s far too late
And I think you made me, baby
Made me too nervous
Crying and this hurt and I gotta tell you why
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“Come in…” Satoru followed you into your living room “y/n… I… I am sorry…. “ you were about to interrupt him but he lifted one hand asking you to wait “please let me say this..” agreeing you let him continue.
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“I am sorry for all the pain I put you through, it was selfish and stupid. I never loved Sookie, it was always you. The only woman in my heart. And I know this sounds like a stupid excuse but it’s the truth. “ taking a deep breath he steeled himself for the next part. You were going to hate him but he had to come clean
“I was an idiot… I thought, before Sookie… I thought that maybe I was not really in love with you…. That… if I met someone else I wouldn’t feel this need… this terrifying addiction I feel for you… I was wrong. Everything intensified tenfold, I realized I love you more than anything in the world… more than myself. I wanted to fix everything but… it was too late because the damage had been done” swallowing hard Gojo continued “I failed you… as a husband, I know it has no forgiveness, and yet… I cannot even start to think of a life without you in it. My days are miserable without you. I can’t sleep, I can’t think, I can’t function like a fucking normal person without you Y/N.
It hurt so much to hear his words. It made you feel like all the promises, all the love confessions he made before convincing you to marry him were lies. Why did he ask you to marry him in the first place if he wasn’t sure he loved you? What kind of sick game were you to him?!. You had to make a conscious effort to not sob. Biting your lower lip, forcing the tears to remain contained.
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Almost as if he was listening to your thoughts Satoru continued “I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you Y/N. When I held you in my arms that night outside of the ballet studio in Tokyo when I pulled you away from that car… I loved you. I just…. Was too stupid and too selfish to admit that to myself” he took a step closer and held one of your hands “I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize you were… you are all I need. Please Y/N, please forgive me. I can’t live like this anymore. The guilt and despair are consuming me alive” he said in a broken whisper. “last night meant the world to me… baby, I love you so much…” continued looking into your eyes with his azure orbs while he held your hand.
This was too much to handle…
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It was one thing to think Satoru fell out of love and that’s why he found someone else. But it was another completely different to hear he had not even been sure of his feelings for you in the first place.
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Pulling your hand away you couldn’t control the tears that escaped your eyes, like translucent cascades, pouring the pain you felt “leave….” You whispered looking at the floor.
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“Y/N…. Please don-…”
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You cut him “LEAVE!” A firm yell came out; half broken, half desperate. “You… you lied to me! All these years! Y… you lied to me! “ the statement was like a dagger straight to his heart. Spoken in a painful tone. He wanted to explain further but you cut him “I heard what you had to say now let me be…” the glacial tone in your voice froze the blood in Satoru’s veins. Your eyes hardened inclemently as you regarded this man who you once thought was the beginning and end of your life. You really couldn’t see the man you fell in love with within him. Not anymore.
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Said I can do this all night, baby
Said I was actin’ out of line, maybe
Can’t put my trauma to the side
When you told me I was lyin’
Had me feelin’ as I died, baby
I have seen a grown man cry, baby
Just see you do it, ain’t special, no
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“Y/N..” absolute terror transfixed Gojo’s handsome features. Tears of despair ran down his handsome pale face. Your aura was so cold and distant. He had never seen you like this before. “Please Y/N… I-…”
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“I said… leave! And don’t come back. I am done with you. Goodbye Satoru…” you turned around and walked away, disappearing behind the door of your room.
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And I know it might mess you up
Hatin’ me ain’t gon’ get you, love
Ain’t nobody gon’ set you up
I ain’t even gon’ sweat you, love
And we’ll never be friends like this
God couldn’t forgive like this
The way I really went in like this
Thank God I ain’t been like this
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Suguru heard the loud exchange and came out. He couldn’t help but feel conflicted about his best friend. On one hand, he was mad at him and wanted to kick him out himself, but seeing his desolate face as he stared at the closed door of your room made him feel bad for him. ‘You dug yourself in this hole my friend’ was all he could think “I think it’s best if you leave now Satoru..”
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Gojo’s eyes were stuck on the door behind which you disappeared, his lower lip trembled, his hands shaking with anxiety, his heart contracting painfully in his chest, suffocating him. He needed.. he needed you but… you didn’t want him there. He wanted to say fuck it and steal you once more but he couldn’t solve things that way. No, you deserved more… better.
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Without another word, he warped away.
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and then Add to home screen.