This was awesome and this story is one of the best I have seen on this website! However I have a few tips. First of all the narration is somewhat confusing because at first you say "our story" as if there is a first person narrator sentient of the reader although this narrator is not presented later on. Secondly the dialogue was a bit excessive
@poopllamaThank you for your review! To clear it up, the narrator in this chapter is supposed to be more of a third person omniscient narrator - there, but not there... if that makes sense? I'm hoping to further clear it up in the last chapter to round it all off.
I certainly loved this first chapter because I am highly interested in Roman life. This is also an interesting point of view, but you must get a certain audience for them to like it. I will recommend it to my friends who like Roman culture. ~Dani Write