Wednesday, afternoon. After class.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Gb16CwiXt
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfebnvhK97
Unfamiliar…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECyvtqPcCj
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvF5Lrb1MnU
I was walking on a street that was unfamiliar to me. Glancing at the unfamiliar faces who walked past me. Looking at the unfamiliar houses as I passed by them. Shuffling my feet over the unfamiliar concrete towards an unfamiliar destination I didn’t want to reach but had to.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRSIZh0HtJ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG283sKaGWo
Going to meet an unfamiliar boy who made an unfamiliar request.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCOoT1IK49
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6khyWdEGW
… and an unknown condition.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLG1ucBAH1t
What am I doing? I thought for the last time. I hoped it was the last time.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqnq0gEvbx
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3HVXyPwBX
Why did I come here? I tilted my face up toward the sky, hoping that from all that blue there was something in it that would tell me the answer. There was none. There were only the clouds drifting slowly, like they were matching how I moved my feet.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQv64IVaPL
But underneath those questions, there was a quiet persistence that would talk to me.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUJNx6m6Gs
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpFOBEoUDe
There is hope. All I have to do is hear what he has to say. Then I go home.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxPp2c5kR8
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtigjwLKti
Were they convincing? Enough... probably.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAvT2U9Bvq
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I sighed and kept moving.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7jEVeBiGL
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46CT3FlDGl
I recalled what happened this morning. It was difficult. A different type of difficult.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEyVCbeTk2
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7wdNSmG5Z
I’d sat in my seat before first period and looked around at everyone. I tried to find the expressions I was wearing on the faces of my friends.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtvsZdBKSZ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVn3m9NaDD
Hina was at her desk, clean and composed like she always was. Her eyes gazed towards the windows. Whatever she was thinking, it was only for her alone. And I never wondered what it was until that time.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsHjm0saxQ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQCndDOzWE
A few seconds later, I found Yui standing in front of Mika’s desk. Her expression cycled through different emotions during their conversation. She was probably talking about stories she had heard a few days ago. And Mika was more animated than yesterday. Reacting to Yui’s story the way she was supposed to. But I knew she was only trying. I knew yesterday hadn’t left her. I could see it in the moments between her reactions, a few fractions of a second where she would lose control.
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My eyes started to move without me noticing. Toward the windows. Toward the back.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kDmy21qCO
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpm3niJviR0
And there he was. Completely unbothered. Absorbed by his book, entirely isolated from the noises the classroom had contained before homeroom. I didn’t even know if he noticed the empty space around him. Nobody talked to him. Nobody paid attention to him.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGf5xCoyS6K
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mnRhzvxR0
Except me, right at that moment.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eW54p6sUI
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAhADRp9sk
I looked away before anyone caught me. I sighed.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACKlwKlENd
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtri5E6pzQ3
Everyone seemed to have moved on from what happened yesterday afternoon. In this same classroom, in that heavy atmosphere. Or maybe they were doing a better job pretending they were.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcgLBjwmr9
...Better than me, at least.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyjfCTMQ00
Since...
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCsaO55ggw
I was the one who had to walk to a near-stranger’s apartment after school. I was the one who had to prepare to hear a condition that no one knew yet. And I was the one who had to steady my face, to hide everything that I was thinking... So that my friends wouldn’t worry.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mdCppncV8
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOF8gt0ZizE
I tried to keep it up all day. And I was very tired.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxT3oxY09U
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAOcPmjHFJ
A few times during the walk, I stopped. I turned halfway back, contemplated for a few seconds, wondered what I had been asking myself since I arrived at the station. But I always turned forward... Turned forward and kept walking.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jbcnq1gQ2
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MC9f0Itrt
He’s a person, I thought. I needed it. I needed to remind myself what I had rehearsed ever since I woke up this morning. He’s a human being. He’s a student, not a criminal. He looked intimidating. But when we talked to him, he was never violent... 108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLRzuQJEYW
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡID5eSIl7Ll
Then...108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgReCAg2hNb
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRhF30QxmB
Also, why was he unusually slow? It was very nerve wracking watching him move from one place to another while the room sat in such a tense mood. And he profiled my friends one by one, like he knew everything about them and where they rank in school, he probably knew the scores they even got, and he was right but…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuN1MxdMWyf
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLEs9qX1ga
I paused.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4GyApYZYI
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEwY9vi2n9
Well... That was actually a bit creepy. Who even does that?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1RAYZ07a6
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkJQrkvjJp
My thoughts suddenly went in another direction…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTtFcuvU8e
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyoyxNfDqZ
What about his condition?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdDuUvtrTZ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37d3LY7rZh
I shook my head. I needed to. Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts only.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2efLPvgOk
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDZo7u6uFA
Instead, my mind tried to embrace quiet.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8IHNssESI
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1INY30hRmz
…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XEpEvqxLJ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYa3kgJdhq
…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0a634TKj3
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYX3b7XTY7W
… condition.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRjxqlxJyb
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQkJqt5aEc
I gave up.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnAyripX6A
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjy2EG9s3T0
The sight of the apartment he wanted me to go to finally came into view. A few more minutes of walking and I found myself standing below it. I looked up. Ten floors. It looked expensive. But maybe not. It was quite fancy, though. A little bit, but enough that it made the houses around it look small and a little embarrassed by comparison. It had solid walls, gray. They were so thick that I imagined if I went inside and screamed, nobody from the outside would hear it.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntLyK8Inrc
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsZ55lVXY9
… That last thought wasn’t necessary.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK92Q7ZEa00
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gZE4NyRvr
I walked to the front entrance.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvUm5zSqP6
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZZAbASyPg
The door was glass, sturdy and clear, and beyond it I could see a second door of the same material. I stepped forward, the outer door opened automatically, and I went inside.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJsMQrAV0f
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xRYc89L6k
I stood there for a second.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfYyGGaaoD
This didn’t look the same as Hina’s apartment. I mean, I had known it since I saw the building from the outside. But I wasn’t sure how to proceed.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxjyH6LvzJ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8HQqJ5gqG
Wait… dramas…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0XlHYdLMl
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfetFpHVoM
If I remembered correctly. There was supposed to be an intercom panel around here somewhere. And it was probably that one, left side beside the door.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8GBiUUO9q
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2f2lAOJ7Q
I opened the note he gave me and approached the panel. I wasn’t sure at first since there were two panels in front of me. One seemed to look like where key cards go through. Maybe this one with a keypad.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPEUDUuRTr
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kjek5mvhu
“Room number 502,” I said while I typed the numbers on it.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGULWjqPbJ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡju2q90dJEZ
I stared at the panel while I waited.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTFFuiCWII
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwoBEmwtSo
“Who?” A voice came through the speaker, flat and immediate.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFeLECpJg4
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4e1pvctv3
“I-It’s me, Miyase Runa. I came here to talk about…”
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3NMeLM0YG
“Proceed.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsdIxCcAtI
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7DHiTaFWv
The inner door opened before I finished what I wanted to say.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLdc0pOVVS
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IDrIyHJVU
Right. Of course.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYyUxptqGg
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJH6yVEPLJp
I walked inside. There was a reception desk but no one was behind it.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIq6yhWZFX
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNlrpjCoJC
He’s a person. He’s a human being. He’s just a student.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEeojwcINJ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oyWNnNgvC
I told myself repeatedly all the way to the elevator. I told myself repeatedly while the elevator moved. By the time the doors opened on the fifth floor. I had told myself it enough times that it had stopped sounding like words and started sounding like a sound I was making with my mouth.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oQ57HqI5k
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFgWIPx9fW
I reached one of the apartment doors then checked the note he gave me one last time.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7aei619Y6
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcU5updIXBy
Fifth floor. Room 502.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAe2Uxub93V
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIGYpFifmj
I took a breath.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgKtLZj2Xp
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0THOjSp14
Took another one.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQwZOxZL8R
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8B8Wtmp1p
And knocked twice.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Nad2Dp7Qu
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPTgrHL7Fl
A few seconds later. The door opened.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1r1aba0AC
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gcO2quSeA
I gripped my bag.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAGQ6MIrXg
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3jnm6rLNH
I looked at him.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQAWOboUx6
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAgEqJrVbZ
“You could’ve used the doorbell,” he said.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc169NE0lQg
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvX4XriNlv
Hmm?
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDk8DU8r9nm
I looked to the left of the door frame.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QY1WM3TOG
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjLIOP9a1m
There it was. Right there. A doorbell, where doorbells had always been, in the place that doorbells had always existed, on every door I had ever encountered in my entire life.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdn32UJR3mA
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO81WxInWIh
My face went warm. I tried to hide it.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuyBQJppzt
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KBLWfFWhr
“I… didn’t see it,” I said, because it was the only sentence I could locate in my head at that moment. It didn’t sound convincing, in fact, it didn’t convince me at all. Because there was no way I could have missed it. Maybe because I had not thought anything about doorbells for the past day. Maybe because I had been thinking more about what happened yesterday and what was going to happen today. And now I was standing here having knocked on a door like someone who had never encountered doors with a doorbell before.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZUxKmaT2I
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He’s definitely reconsidering everything.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xhJOKuoIY
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLILwQ8IZb
“Come in,” he said, after looking at me for a moment that felt longer than it was.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJz5WaL9bHm
I took off my shoes and arranged them neatly by the entrance.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IpiY4SPcd
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xTSYLuxK8
“Excuse me for intruding,” I said, bowing slightly.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsI6W9rSrrs
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUjgoSXezt
I stepped inside.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQg5RdmWv7
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpySrSOqm5B
He led me to the living room.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKOywfWZZO
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOfrq3iWUw
I stopped just inside the doorway and looked around without meaning to.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AIGjZ3iiQ
It was clean. It wasn’t empty but felt like it was since there were no unnecessary decorations inside. There were two sofas, one smaller facing the flat screen TV in the corner, and one longer that faced the door of the living room, perpendicular to the smaller one. And in the center was just a carpet. There were no tables, no cabinets, no photographs on the walls. Nothing else.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEH1vOmeL8N
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOot9DN8h7
To the right was the kitchen connected to the living room with no walls between them. And just as much as the living room, I only saw what seemed to be the necessary utensils that he needed. Or so I assumed.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡionw3E2ecs
It kinda fits him, actually.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Z5Ayqpr0O
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I thought about it for a second.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUJXX8Tioq
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtElZR93v0
“Sit anywhere you like,” he said.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡht7Fp2WgJd
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFIgqQ55fd
I considered the longer sofa and the smaller sofa for a second. I started walking towards the longer sofa, I sat at the other end near the smaller sofa, which put the most distance between me and the other end of the room. As I settled in I noticed a book sitting on the opposite end of where I sat. I leaned slightly, curious to what it was.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhtdn3KxP1
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKuCgauLKG
English. The cover was entirely in English.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjA5eEEf7A
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OchzNFpqK
“Do you want water?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VHJDSb1P4
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCRNyzy87h
I straightened up. His voice came from the kitchen and it caught me off guard since I felt like I was intruding someone’s private life when I leaned towards the book. His voice is always serious, it wasn’t cold but it was different, like the strict kind of different, or maybe leaned more towards indifference? I didn’t know, I was just startled. I wondered if he was aware of how he sounded to others? Probably not.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qNkUCpVsQ
“There’s soda in the fridge too. Which one?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGPeqPrHps
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FYbL0Zxne
“Soda please,” I answered before I finished deciding. I meant to say water. I didn’t know why I said soda.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJkrrVYAoZ
He came back a few minutes later with a glass of soda with little ice cubes. He handed it to me.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoW0JJ7mGJp
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOLC09SiBH
“Thank you.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uUax0W0cP
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmjesPjozF
He went back to the kitchen. I watched him go, wondering what he had planned to do. I noticed he was going towards a small wooden table at the corner of the kitchen before he started carrying it. Then walked back to the living room and carefully set it down over the carpet between the two sofas.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uYlU3SWkm
It was a low kind of table, made for sitting on the floor to write.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUj2Osnmj2
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJUFhGjBkM
“You can put your drink here.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRQY9eiLBk
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZ1hg2Tl4W
“Thank you.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftd9DryneI
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsHB8XhdP0
He walked around the table he just placed. He ended up in the other end of the longer sofa, picked up the book that was there, and sat down.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UlDQvGjxU
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyfJcC7Oqm
And opened it.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWYtcvfjRW
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOf6W47gAt
And started reading…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FfbxgTSVx
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZl6TnoCql
Started reading…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfDA0SRR0V
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOFYEBgpSW
I tried to confirm what just happened. I came all the way here. Ten minutes of train ride, fifteen minutes walking from the station to this apartment, I had failed to locate a doorbell that had been directly beside the door, and now this. I thought we were going to start talking about what he told me yesterday. Instead, he started reading.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhApSrEs8e
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“Um.” I tried.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVo0NZLhXo
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He turned a page.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8eyRImITk
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“About what we discussed yesterday…”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFi2RnU85jX
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvCvCFsxzO
Nothing.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0yjH1RXD6
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHsl5niTUF
“…Never mind.” I let out a laugh. It sounded awkward. I immediately regretted the laugh.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LwMAcB78N
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvIhG6AOUh
I looked at the soda. The ice was already starting to melt at the edges. I took a sip. Looked up at the ceiling for reasons I couldn’t explain. There was nothing interesting about the ceiling. It was a ceiling.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKv057kRxA
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYah26doXKe
I decided to search inside my bag instead. The only things that I found were textbooks, notebooks and my test papers that put me in this situation. I cursed at them. In spirit.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEd8pAK76h7
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFdzr3QNBI
My phone buzzed inside my pocket. I opened it. There were notifications that Mika and Yui had messaged me privately. Once from Mika, five times from Yui. There was also a flood of notifications that came from our group chat. It didn’t say who made those fifteen notifications, but I am totally sure it was Yui.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXR4GNWkNzX
I didn’t have the mood to reply yet. So I opened an app, found a video, maybe just watch for a little bit. Made myself look busy just like him.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIknkOdBts
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBatENlzd0A
Ten minutes passed.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9kRw7cOMh
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2JxgDXpeK
I put down my phone.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AwboUWaFu
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5bxbyae8S
“Hello?” I looked at him directly this time.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyvHPOm0cJ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW76qRkK0Qh
Everything that I was thinking before coming here and everything I heard about him both were gone in that moment. I didn’t come here to sit in silence and watch videos.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYoR6NsgDA
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMdWNJsaCl
If he still didn’t answer me this time, I was leaving.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxs7BFoB8PX
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0J9aQtYtBS
My eyebrows pulled together.
He slowly looked up.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztdHQzF8Ns
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TN16luaFw
“Are you done with your drink?” he asked.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7ZCpb0h96
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFfAlJS2dy
My eye twitched.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccPXO98ZZN
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYMQN8GLUh
I wasn’t DONE with my drink, thank you. I was DONE waiting here for nothing. If you still make me wait for one second more and waste all that effort and all those worries I had been carrying on my way here, THEN I AM LEAVING.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2mRPyDQef
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7pYa9IbEX
I thought… they came out good in my thoughts…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd45jCPXT5v
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoS8cW6T4jn
I sighed for a bit, tried to compose myself. Okay now he is paying attention to me.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyWemQwLjI
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqk8ErH5rsq
“Yes,” I replied. My voice still had an edge to it that I didn’t bother smoothing out. “Thank you.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2abvXj0WP
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRK9tGXCku
“Follow me.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnroPzbxoM
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWZrQkhy5t
He stood up.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxia5mmkmp9
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvFZGvtydT
I took a breath. Smoothed my expression back into something neutral. It took a moment. Afterwards, I stood up and followed.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnjVQ5K1gB
He led me back out to the hallway. Two doors on the right from the living room. We passed the first one and stopped at the second, closer to the main entrance. He opened it.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGQVKmMtzT
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqISVfPTxlA
I looked inside.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJdd5Rx4HF
The room was the complete opposite of the living room.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZM81WyWs58
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXWq5lHVbK
An electric piano against one wall, a guitar on a stand, and something that looked like a smaller, plastic version of the piano with little buttons and dials I didn’t recognize, plugged into a computer setup near the window.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavJPBB0N48
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFpfrSXDnI
One computer, but with three monitors lined up side by side, all three still on.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqmBfYvhvV
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuIR5bWij5
The middle one had lines of text. They were small, colorful, structured in a way that reminded me of what the programmer characters in dramas were working on when emphasized. Except this looked real. Less glamorous. Just a wall of text that I didn’t know what it meant.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeC5YFl65C
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsLgJl0Lrf
The screen on the left had a bunch of horizontal bars in different colors, all squiggly and uneven, kind of like one of those heart monitor lines from medical dramas but way more of them, stacked on top of each other, with little boxes and tiny switches everywhere.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgr7DNqKj57
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiR5l9U3eDA
And the one on the right. Drawing? Just the outline of someone’s head, unfinished, floating in the middle of a mostly empty white background. No face yet. Just the shape.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSXr6q89vL
My eyes moved away from the screens, taking in the rest of the room.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJnjswRK6O
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEg8xxUg66K
A drawing tablet. Papers stacked on a separate table, some of them weighted down with pencils, some of them half-finished with marks I couldn’t fully read from here. Notebooks. Drawing pads. Crumpled paper on the floor near the waste bin. Probably were thrown but didn’t quite make it. A lot of them were not even close to the waste bin. Rulers, erasers, pencils that had been used and not put back.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ilBVJjq5I
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXUZwXXx8A
It was a mess. It was surprisingly chaotic and messy.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjAjvrGiAv
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe42JtRjs1P
I thought the living room fit him well because of how he moves and how he talks. Both with a certain precision.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGA8OnWqKyd
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmsY2Qw6E3
But this…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVr055IysRT
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQktOpbaEwR
This explains the dark below his eyes.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZywHkLIxr
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLwC4Ya02G
This explains the messy hair.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5KZY2jEk7
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ftk8bg3bF
And I could totally picture him in here. Staying up late, scratching his head leaving his hair a mess. This room gave me everything the living room didn’t. I could guess exactly where he spent his time, what he put his hours into, what he cared about. Without him saying a single word about it.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWaTMi7fZZ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjlVKl1ub9
I forgot to breathe. So I did.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZFGk3PPaM
“Are you…” I searched for the right question. “A musician?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYmhgeRx03
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyuIYGwcVo
“No,” he said. “I just bought those, I’m still learning.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2M9jW2iXlg
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71mzGGYztc
“All of them? The piano, the guitar, and…” I gestured vaguely at the plastic thing with the buttons.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEA4XiaaHkx
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Jl3FojkRR
“That’s a MIDI keyboard. I am currently trying to make music for my game.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6tn7efPAl
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8UxUiQLVW
“What about the drawings?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw32parLwCO
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnRtmE2F9m
“Also learning.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAk6lJYkI6
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPjuZKwMHc
“Are you making a manga?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuMrBDPleg
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWjjPFzNle
“No. Just drawing for my game.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1d4NsiyAbk
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJehHaPdXGx
“And the computer? The colored texts?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOJwMHOfBL
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7J9rdTkjp0
“Those are programs.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmrCFbZGzl
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3AfSsNabq
“For making a game?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeMSWzA1bx
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nFcjJQAdX
“Yes.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzDRZ9ybHh
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1uZ1Ha2OC
“Isn’t that… aren’t you amazing?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOd4lLzi14p
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Z0GurUtVm
“Not really. I know how to code now. I still don’t know how to draw or make music.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpeI4QIQ9g
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpo77AhggVP
But isn’t he still amazing?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKPNnL66dB
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dMnaCTEVg
I looked at the three screens again. And that reinforced my thought. The lines of text, the squiggly bars, the half-finished head all just sat there. All equally impressed me.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZkpHYduns
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwyHAX3jcY
I opened my mouth but I didn’t know what I could say. The questions just ran in my head and they kept overlapping each other. And on top of that, some part of me felt like I was already prying just by standing here looking at all of it.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1tbwl7KH5
“How are you finding time to learn all of this?” I asked finally.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbvO7SyYyq
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUX7wZEDNw
“I have a schedule.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GXFCvZmvR
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA65xvUDBD5
Of course. But still…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nPbsQZjkp
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtRRbqdMfM
“Since when did you start?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yvefHQN2A
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXm3ifUaBhJ
“I started learning how to program since I was ten. Started making a game when I was thirteen. Started learning guitar when I was fourteen. Started learning how to draw last year. Started learning…”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2k0L9LXefY
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXozBrLlpC
“Wait, okay I get it.” If I hadn’t stopped him there, I had a feeling he would list everything. And I had a feeling there was more than what I was seeing today. “So did you finish making a game?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzW05iPEGKS
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCVrk6OiqE
“I posted one online last year. Free. It was the one I’d been building since I started.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dIfOE9q85
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQhSoRHv2W
“How did it go?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYUOHAgnXT
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztNaKHSLfa
“Around two thousand downloads, last time I checked.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yHAae8aLe
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RMMSafzsw
Two thousand? Downloads? That many!?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCB51OOP9j7
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMemQ6mSjWL
I couldn’t even get a hundred views for that one dance video Yui and me posted when we were still in middle school. Isn’t two thousand like really good?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcDfz16XBp
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMBN0WzrSR
“But that’s beside the point,” he said when I was about to say my thoughts. “Let’s go back to the living room. Let’s talk there.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtFXuMlBGv
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEWeQzmUsB
As soon as he said that, reality snapped me back to the reason why I was here.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQoaho6Kng
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsuSKCPmvk
He closed the door then started leading me back to the living room.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEPIZ4keeE
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEKC4zYb7y
My eyes couldn’t resist glancing for that room one last time.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGtNL5gpDn
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzC4bTXz9jf
I could never do that. I thought. And I meant it entirely without self-pity. It was the scale of it. This kind of sustained, quiet, solitary commitment to something was not something I had ever managed. Maybe that was part of why I was here.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiIOkwKAjx
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVvNifXAPN
We entered the living room and I sat down where I’d been before. He took his end of the sofa. And for some reason, the room felt smaller. It wasn’t uncomfortable, it was just different. Like I was seeing it properly now instead of through a filter of nerves.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1TZ7uq61g
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNXl65VlOM
“So,” I said. I knew what we were going to talk about now. I felt ready. “What is it?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc50vwWq5ss
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZCjxb2dqd
“If I do this,” he started, “I’ll have to set aside all of that.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡim7eTCbfOq
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpuAbyGyuG
My eyes widened a little. I didn’t consider that.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJPa6RT7XI
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4xKSUwXey
“My part-time job. I’ll have to quit it.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oAnzKdEDW
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaaw2iMMRO
He has one? I had no idea.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsWnSbIJ6w
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1mXFwakZg
“All the time I would spend learning to draw, learning to play music and making games. All of them will get reduced. As well as the time I have for my own studying.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9CvsAo4bU
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYavOYS4yi
I wanted to cover my face with both my hands. I felt confident opening the conversation as soon as we got back to the living room. Now, I was feeling the weight of all the things that he was saying. The heavy sacrifices that he was willing to make for my sake. And everything felt like pressure sat on my back.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhxJD6tJpW
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUgK2kDcSA
“You don’t have to do that,” I said.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV81w5YQX7U
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHH7Rsy7Ycn
“I do.” No hesitation. “If I’m going to tutor you, I’m not doing it with half an effort. When I set a goal I intend to reach it.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjJJ0ulJVT
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdbJMrwwKO
“But...” I, on the other hand, hesitated. “But if you stop now…” I didn’t know what to say. But somehow he knew what to answer.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71AyjBCwuw
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUI9RFtMUUQ
“I am not stopping. I can go back to learning once we’re done.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbfrbn5MmA
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AZsxFYRya
Why?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CPJNJMP3D
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05zVDtZnLG
“Why would you do all that for someone you don’t even know?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIr9X9UqiU3
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzc5FGdGNuM
He paused for a moment and stared at me. As if he was trying to figure out how to answer what I asked.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKw8d7mN4so
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhATCKFUyrD
“Because you need help,” he finally said.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzGX22kGVu
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW89XE74J9L
I waited for the rest of it. There wasn’t any.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFen2nc2jt
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54bbMh0PwV
That’s it? I felt like he was about to say more. Was that really all? Because I needed help, he would ruin his schedule, quit his part-time job and cut into his dream?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtyiadm1w3
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdREmZ2lxf
I didn’t understand. I thought I had figured him out. But it felt like what I knew was far too little compared to what I didn’t know.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi15LdJelyw
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoItN53Gyy
But he continued.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIRhbI5wE0
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotQ3dbHQX4
“Honestly, when I first looked at your test papers I was going to say no.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5ttOxu4xR
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ57S573bOg
Obviously.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMS1gmvi7ZA
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcd9DRgafM
“But when I looked at the answers themselves. They weren’t random. You never left a question blank. Every answer had a logic behind it, even when it was completely wrong. That logic came from somewhere. It means you were thinking, not guessing. I saw the hard work written on every answer. They were just tangled up with the wrong methods.” He kept his eyes on me. “If we work the right way, you’ll get a different result.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilC1KlYRf2
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3eYoAIbau
I sat with that.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRwvkgtXuv
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4GTBQlZUb
Hard work written on every answer.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1QII0Dlbk
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cZjSk9khM
I bit my lip. I did give my all. I spent nights reading textbooks I tried to understand. In the end, I wasn’t able to and I thought it was impossible for me. And here was someone looking at the same evidence and arriving at a completely different conclusion.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZIxUjsREW
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29mhtQ5X4T
I wanted to believe it. Can he really make me become a top ten student in a year?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteyR0VIUKj
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWa9FFHlgJ
I stared at my hands.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVFLM9JnVW
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcIF2BHq8M
If I worked hard just like him, then maybe? If he thought it was achievable, then maybe? If he was sounding very sure of it… then it might actually be real.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9bkq7HjEe
“But I need some kind of insurance,” he suddenly said. “If I put everything in and you still failed, I need something in return. I don’t like wasting time.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHgFhqpWy0
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qlXRPwf2c
I nodded. Reluctant. I didn’t know if I could promise not to waste his time.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vR4IwnOQa
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGR1kqvKZvC
“What is it?” I asked.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKXcZKqYCt
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpcULJg448
“If you fail an exam. Midterms and finals, for the rest of the year. For every subject you fail, I get five minutes.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEckBmRKEz
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE11AGOJSyK
I waited.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeORrVDc6uL
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcojVUn17t
“Five minutes. To touch you.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZD0Z1o8C0
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYs9vWiNBiR
The room didn’t move.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4HEJR0WQT
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgr5vlTQHQ
I heard the words. I understood the words individually. They just didn’t make sense when I put them together. Assembling into something I couldn’t process correctly.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQpTeO2v53
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOAMeSVkaS
“Touch me?” I said. I wanted him to say that he was just joking.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntMbzd9JMR
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzL8w8IEv7k
“Yes.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7ChM8L8SP
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOlvzqQTkL
He wasn’t.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn08cGysoU
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLp7nnrVDA
My hand tightened slightly on my bag.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlyttpJpjt
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwz5CfUt3e
Absolutely not. That is supposed to be the answer. Immediate. Clear. Correct.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCKcuncSJB
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUmC6UHfaQ
If he failed me on purpose, how could I ever tell? If the consequence of my failure was something that benefited him, what was stopping him from not doing it? He could teach me badly on purpose, or not at all, and collect whatever he wanted from whatever subject I failed.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax5A7qVSoD
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3okIykkm0n
I needed to say that. I needed to push back on it directly. The words were right there.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZzy3u3HYs
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxwHgkfILV
I looked at him.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGL2yCl4uJR
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO16zLJCjcN
I opened my mouth, but he went first.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEi4cA0r6JH
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bWvf8IWcO
“Don’t misunderstand,” he said. “I’m not going to teach you halfheartedly. When I said top ten, that wasn’t a promise. It’s my intention. And I intend to follow through on it. But I need to know your resolve.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sIWmWttbn
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVN4kQeqde
I didn’t move.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAi75SI636a
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ885IIkwLBE
My resolve?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuDcBsWOQA
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMfUYtReA4
“You don’t have to decide now,” he continued. “You don’t have to decide at all. If you don’t come back, that’s your answer.” He paused. “But if you do come back. Then that’s your answer too. Not just to me. To yourself.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaXJmfSJfm
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZWRCe2ciY
I didn’t know what to say to that so I didn’t say anything.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfky4G3H2wc
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXcsh5QnHS
“You can go,” he said.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vy4OKUEeG
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSYHfWxGLz
I didn’t move right away. I didn’t know if I can even move right away.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAE70nRUMq2
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYTTj4h9uq
When my eyes reached him, I saw him reading his book again, like he just didn’t say the most outrageous thing to say to a girl.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJceHKmXN9
For a moment I sat with everything. I felt the weight of what he’d put on the table and the equal weight of what he was offering in return.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8fFnExb6e
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfUPNqT62g
Finally I stood up. I picked up my bag from the floor and held it against my chest.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCFP7zkFMa
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXHGOdmdVY
I started walking towards the door, as fast as I could.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67eeogqLb2
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLggr2IGyC7
“The condition stays between us,” he said before I could walk towards the hallway.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60BLOjSyrp
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OQrkFLwgo
I hesitantly nodded. I shouldn’t have. It felt like agreeing to something before I’d decided anything. But I also didn’t want anyone else carrying the weight of this before I’d figured out what I was going to do with it myself.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ip6DgI33g
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpJOCpQhB5
I let myself out.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2COF149nyx
The elevator was waiting. I got in.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaPDfY81hm
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1n3Ze5oZ3C
What do I do?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ALsDsmqmM
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxbqZBvfSr
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFwqPCf93Q
Wednesday, Night.
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUPbcpUWF8
That night I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling with the lights off. Dinner was done. My replies to the group chat were done. Just enough to prove I was alive and accounted for, nothing that invited follow-up questions I wasn’t ready to answer.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyk6DSUJHnn
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qMkHSf8do
The dark was easier right now. Less to look at. More space to think, or to avoid thinking, which was what I was mostly doing.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8T57wbaJZ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNlGQ72Coe
My phone rang.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDjc3Yv5L6
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JorPshnCD
Mika.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JG02djnXI
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXp3Ibs4fX
I picked up.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOJ0ty54cg
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQffxJI9IbE
“Hello.”
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUHLH6QtrB
“Are you okay?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4LgpbqDtx
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqJtL4dvRQ
“I am. Don’t worry.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38bLl1dIjd
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYMw9DNo32
“Did he do anything?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDniQIH3rY
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPL64lQtZ9
“No.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWvvqqcOzC
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAClmOAJiLZ
“Are you sure?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlV9GkdAfQV
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlFi5KXQbn
“I’m sure.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6jzkbsEqj
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbfdlBSlsL
She didn’t answer for a few seconds.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9wWe05PIJ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIZile8259
“You don’t sound sure.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy23egOxdOH
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kFsQQJqim
“I’m just tired.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2KLPezpzB
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzTjGvWLAw
“...Really?”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBdZK4olYa
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbmFLLklYK
“Yes.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeszwIswnGz
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6v2Ybjr1M
She paused.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMc3YASDIQ7
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bEy1l1gd9
“Okay.” Her voice was careful. “I’ll let you sleep. But tomorrow, tell me everything.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJMKyoWdd9
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCbCvZEJQd
“Okay.”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHSBRfMR1J
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfX69v2k8k
She hung up.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTA4eSyIqnl
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UyPXeGCYS
I lay there in the dark looking at the ceiling.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfuGYGmujL
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprJHZJt1J3
Sorry, Mika.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BBrzKLiOb
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjo2MIgx1cU
I was already apologizing to her in my head. Because I knew, even now, that I wasn’t going to be able to tell her everything. Not even a single word of what had been said.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeolsUYXIMU
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZakOKnAY9
That part…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZm4GVlHHWA
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Sib1O31La
All of them…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZvu7U61nr
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4T6HwwSI9
Were all mine to carry…108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvQ4QhA4AF
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWmBRYPolW
I pressed my hand flat against my chest.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHoV7syXWd
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4sCMISBZq
What do I do?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBq1k6pqu2
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPChjiHrGn
The ceiling had no answers. It was just a ceiling.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhV7srwcfo
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4u66CJnZg
But somewhere underneath all the weight of it, quieter than everything else, something was still there.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThMkWVWCoi
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSqjtIGLli
I saw the hard work written on every answer.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ379vPKXrGM
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRG47w8bR62
I closed my eyes.
and then Add to home screen.